My Unlikely Best Friend

Chapter 32

A/N: The cover above was made by M_DOWG. Thank you so much!🌌

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Everyone prayed for Bonnie in that little room. Everyone for the last fifteen minutes left of the service prayed for that precious little girl, ensuring her health, her safety, and for her wellbeing. Even Tracey, the girl that got thrown up on stood up and silently prayed for her. Her head was bowed, eyes were closed. Everyone prayed...all except for me.

I sat in Bonnie's chair with my hands resting on my lap—one over the other. I faced the wall, away from the prayer circle, not wanting to join them, because I was afraid that if I were to get up and hold hands with them that 'God' would turn away and not listen to the prayers being sent to Him anymore, because of me.

He loves and listens to the strong believers, and I definitely am not a strong believer. I wouldn't even really call myself a believer, but I'm not a total unbeliever either. I know that there's a higher power—a God out there, but it just feels like He's not there. He's not there...and I actually wish He was.

My mom watches TBN all the time on TV, and sometimes, sometimes on a good day I might watch with her, and to be honest it hurts me to see other people getting healed of their sicknesses and diseases. Like, what about me? I never really did anything wrong in my life, so why can't I be healed like these people who hasn't even prayed for even a year.

I've prayed for more than four years! That just proves to me that God doesn't want to heal me, He wants me to stay in my misery. I thought my mom said God had a good plan for everyone. I think she was wrong about that.

Yeah, it would be selfish of me to join the circle...their prayers would be left unanswered. I just continued to sit still and listen to the words being said. It was quite moving, because these people barely even knew her, yet they prayed for her like she was their sister or daughter.

I looked down at my lap and saw a tear drip onto the back of my hand and then another soon followed. I squeezed my hands until they were shaking, then I wiped my eyes so that no one would know that I was crying or anything. Why is there sickness? Why is there pain? Why can't it all be taken away? It just doesn't...make any sense.

The feel of a light hand on my shoulder caused me to turn my neck where I felt it. I saw that it was the sweet lady that had touched me, and there was a sad smile painted on her face as she looked down at me. I swallowed hard after she sat down in the seat next to me, probably wanting me to join them.

"Dawn dear, why are you sitting here, all by yourself?" She asked, looking at me with her tender brown eyes. "You should be with us in the prayer circle. There's plenty of room."

I knew it.

"Oh, I...I know, it's just that, um, I like being by myself when I'm sad. It's best for me," I said hoping that she would get up at that and walk away, but to my dismay she did the opposite. She sat back in the chair, making herself comfortable.

I groaned in my head, oh my gosh...

"You look like you have something heavy weighing on your mind." She said slightly cocking her head to the side, squinting her eyes, at an attempt to read me. "Do you want to talk about it?" I was about to answer with a simple 'no, I'm fine', but she quickly interrupted me. "And I know that it's not just about what happened to Bonnie...it's deeper than that."

I lifted an eyebrow at her and gave her an 'who do you think you are?' look. "What are you talking about?" I asked, looking her up and down, I guess, a bit rudely. Give me a break, I already wasn't in the brightest of moods anyways. She opened her mouth to say something, but I quickly cut her off. "Look..." I glanced at her badge to get see her name. "Maria, I really appreciate you being concerned about me, but I'm fine, alright. There's nothing for you to worry about. I promise."