Zoo // Louis Tomlinson

//13//

            “Lydia.” I sighed, closing the distance between us again. Placing my hands on either side of her hips this time, securing her tiny frame down. I wanted to keep her as close as possible without letting any attraction build up to distract me.

            “I was accepted to finish my last semester studying abroad in the mountain ranges of Central Asia with a group of Ecologists and Biologists in an attempt to save the endangered species of Snow Leopards.” Lydia muttered the whole sentence without taking a single breath. She wasn’t even looking at me, the anger mingling with something else as it rolled off of her in tsunami sized waves.

            I wasn’t sure what to respond with, still taking the information in when her worn out teal high-top converse landed next to my own dirt stained vans. Small arms pushed under my own, wrapping around me as though I were a life preserver.

            Her lips pressed against my chest sped up my heartbeat immensely, eyelashes creating a path down my shirt. Sealing her eyes shut just as my own arms came to hold her even closer, easily fitting around her entire frame.

            She was so small, so much smaller than Camilla or Belle. Smaller than any other woman I had been with or sought out. Hardly standing above my chin, and that was counting her mass of golden curls. Lydia was nothing compared to anyone I’d ever seen, it was as though her personality made her seem larger, or perhaps, just taller. However, when she stood right next to me –and I wasn’t very large for a man, one may call me smaller than average if one wished to die a premature death- she seemed to lose even more inches than I had originally thought possible.

            “Why can’t you accept it?” I bent my head down to hers, smiling to myself as I noticed just how easily restful she had become.

            You always heard how women fit to men like puzzle pieces, but I don’t think this was like a puzzle piece. No, it was more as though she’d always belonged there. Not that she fit the curves of my body with her own, but that when she was breathing softly against my chest it all felt complete in the most effortless of ways.

            “I just can’t accept it.” She was taking ages to answer me, and even then it wasn’t a real answer.

            “Is that what you were yelling at Cindy about?” I decided on asking her another question, understanding that she wasn’t ready to even answer that previous question to herself.

            “Yes, she was the one who submitted it. I was so angry Louis,” she started to pull her cheek away from me as though she owed me an explanation.

            “I understand, well no, I don’t understand what that feels like, but I understand why you lost your temper.”

            “In front of everyone and David was telling everyone about it-“ her voice was wavering, splitting away from it’s sharp edge and skipping a bit over the ends of her words.

            She couldn’t be crying, this wasn’t happening.

            Jesus fucking Christ you had to be the biggest piece of shit at comforting people Louis.

            “I won’t wear any other brand of shoes than vans.” I was desperately trying to remember how I had calmed her down just a few days before, when the answer literally just fell from my mouth.

            “My biggest fear is that I’ll never have a boyfriend.” Lydia offered, taking a deep breath. Her voice was an octave higher than usual, which terrified me, but she seemed to remember what I was doing.