Sherlock x OC - The Black Masquerade Mask (Book 1)

Inside Joke

"But I'm not fine on my own, you maybe be fine without me. But I am not" Sherlock said his british accent thick and firm, he leaned forward closing the distance between us glowering at me in anger I obviously ticked him off, I looked up at him in disbelief.

"That's funny. I remember you asked me to leave you alone earlier" I said, my voice threatening to crack. "But I don't want you to leave me alone, forget last night. Last night was crazy, you know it was and I wasn't right in the head. I was afraid Ema, a feeling I'm not familiar with" Sherlock was secretly desperate for me to get this thing over with but he deserved a little torment after his verbal abuse last night "Clearly, you abused me verbally"

"Everyone's allowed one mistake, I admit... it got out of hand but you saw how I was.. you saw the state I was in... everything I said last night...I didn't mean it. I was worked up my thinking was clouded and you of all people know how that feels like" Sherlock explained clearly feeling guilty.

"I do know how it feels but I didn't point out every single weakness you have, I didn't call you names, I absorbed your anger I tried to comfort you and you took that as a threat to you! I was trying to make you feel better but you snapped at me for trying to help you, and what made everything worse is you making me feel like a nothing to you! You treated me like a stranger, what did I do to ever deserve this please tell me! I'm killing myself over here trying to understand how to handle you and every time I think I'm getting closer you just lose it and we're back to square one" "It was a mistake, the words I said...I didn't mean any-" Sherlock started to explain himself but I knew where this was going...

"That's not even a mistake, a mistake would be me listening to you and as always pretending this never happened and a week later something would happen to piss you off and you'd end up hurting me again! I'm sick of that!" I felt better taking this off my chest because Sherlock is not easy to deal with but here he was listening.

"Ema I've never had close people around me all the time you know that, I never realize I did wrong by you..or John until I see you getting really mad, not the crazy mad the silence that radiates off you that says 'i'm silent because i'm hurt'" we were staring back and forth at each other and I went silent him opening up like that was making me feel comfortable altho he read me like an open book... I cleared my throat "Okay..fine look what do you want?" I asked lacking a witty reply this time.

"Hear me out..." I stayed silent waiting for him to talk and he cleared his throat "Everything I said is a self defense mechanism, I tried to see the bad things about you to make it easier on me..to detach myself from feelings" I snorted "Feelings?" His gaze got even more intense when I said that clearly upset I wasn't taking him seriously.

"You're not spiteful, you're the most caring person I've ever met even if you don't show it. I can read you like an open book and everything I said last night is not true. You're not heartless, you're a great friend, you're not a robot you're pretty sensitive actually despite what you try to show others...and I am not others I am your friend and I'm pretty sure, I'm as special to you as you are to me" Sherlock was being genuine, he did not say sorry but this held more value than a sorry ever would.

I realized I was gaping, my lips slightly parted in disbelief. First the hug and now this, I cleared my throat "Wow, I never expected that...did you just call me special?" I asked a little in disbelief. "You're unbelievable..." Sherlock looked at me confused "What?" "Unbelievable that you have to ask if I consider you special...of course I do" I gulped.

"Oh...thats nice" I cleared my throat, uncomfortable with the position we were in. "Okay so uh do you mind? This is a little..uhm" "I wont back away, until you say we're okay" Sherlock said conditioning me. "We're okay...of course we're okay we're more than okay Sherlock..." I saw him smile "Under one condition, you make it up to me anything I want" Sherlock gave me a confused look "Okay deal" I smirked at his cluelessness.