esoteric ↯ dean winchester x reader

xxiii.

Dean sat on his bed in the bunker, holding his right arm. Images of Dean's Mark-fuelled killings. He felt the pleasure run through his body as if it was trying to condition him to love these killings. His hand shook, wanting to grasp a blade. He gets up and looks at himself in a mirror, which is cracked in three parts by cracks running from side to side, dividing his features.

Meanwhile, Castiel paced in the bunker library.

"She barely speaks to me." Cass told you and Sam as you both sat on the table, "She's like a wounded animal, just watching me."

"Look, Cass, you really tried to do the right thing that night. You did." You told him, "This guy Claire was hanging out with, Randy, all he did was use her. He only cared about himself."

"Well, she thought he was kind. And for that, she loved him." He stopped pacing, slumping his shoulders, "Shows how little kindness there was in her life. You know, whatever Randy did, he didn't deserve –"

"No, yeah, I know, we know. Dean has had to kill before. We all have. But that was –" Sam couldn't finish, Dean spoke up.

"That was what?" Dean emerged from his room for the first time all day. Sam rose, surprised. Dean walks in from the war room.

"Dean." Sam wanted to explain.

"That was a massacre. That's what it was." Dean admitted, feeling the regret in the pit of his chest, looking from Sam to you and Cass. "There was a time I was a hunter, not a stone-cold killer?"

You could see it in his eyes, you'd never seen a man filled with so much sorrow and regret. He looked for reassurance and found you guys trying to preserve his feelings. You couldn't blame him, it was the Mark not him.

"You can say it. You're not wrong. I crossed the line... Guys, this thing's gotta go." Dean looks down at the Mark of Cain on his arm.

"That won't be easy." Castiel spoke up.

"Well, then burn it off! Cut it off." Dean begged, he needed it off him. He needed to stop thinking killing was so great.

"It is more than just a physical thing. It will take a very powerful force to remove the effect." Cass told him.

"Dean, we have been through all the lore. There's nothing." Sam said.

"This reaches back to the time of creation. It may pre-date the lore. If we had the demon tablet, maybe." Cass told him, explaining the only things you know.

"But you said it was missing." You looked back at him.

"It is." Castiel looks reluctant to continue, "There may be another way."

~

You followed Castiel to the playground with the portal to Heaven. Castiel paced again, you watched from the car with Sam. He is watched by two guard angels, one in a woman's vessel, the other in a little girl's, you could see their halos.

"They should be here by now. Was there word of a delay?" Castiel asked the woman.

"All I do is watch the door. Who are you expecting, Castiel?" She asked, but the portal opens cutting their conversation short. Ingrid, an Angel who once snuck out the files for you, and another angel come through escorting a prisoner with a hood over his head.

"Thank you, Ingrid." Castiel thanked her.

"I did as you asked at great risk, Castiel." Ingrid gave him a look.

"I know. I approached you because I know you share my belief that it is angels' mission to protect humans." Castiel explained, "It's possible I can eliminate a great threat to them, but I will need his help."