I sat on the living room couch, letting the darkness envelope me like a secure blanket.
It's funny how sitting in the dark doesn't seem to bother me anymore.
It's the only place I really seem to exist these days.
I sat there, just waiting.
This is nothing unusual for me.
I sat here, waiting, every single night for him to come home.
I know he doesn't care, but I want him to know that I'm still here.
That I won't leave him like everyone else did. He had lost everything.
His friends, his career, his family ties.
They all turned their backs on him because they couldn't bear to watch him ruin his life anymore.
He lost everything because he let the rockstar life grab him by the balls and take him on a ride.
He lost everything, except me.
Everyone wonders why I stay.
Why I put up with all the shit he puts me through.
Sometimes, even I wonder why I waste so much energy on someone who couldn't care less if I was there or not.
It was probably because deep down, I know he loves me.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
I keep thinking maybe if I say it enough, I can convince myself one day.
I pressed a button on my cell and my face was illuminated with a bright light.
Almost as if I'd summoned him, the door slammed open and he stumbled in almost knocking over the lamp table.
I breathed in deeply and slowly stood up.
I made my way over to his giggling form and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"Be careful. Don't trip." I murmured softly. "Fuck my foot hurts!" He hissed.
We made our way slowly up the stairs and into our room.
I heard him breathe a sigh of relief when his head hit the pillow.
I pulled off his shoes and jacket, tossing them on the floor.
I pulled the covers up to his chin and kissed him gently on the forehead.
"Don't leave me, ok?" He whimpered, pulling me towards him and into his arms.
Those strong arms that, a long time ago, made me fall in love with him.
"I won't. I can't. I love you Brian." I said softly. But he was already snoring lightly.