The next few days were great.
It helped me keep my mind off of the 5'11, 180 pound problem waiting for me at home.
Brian's been calling me everyday I've been here to ask how I'm doing and to tell me he misses me.
I act casual and like everything's alright.
When he tells me he misses me, I always change the subject.
When he tells me he loves me, I tell him I have to go and quickly hang up.
Most of the time I start crying or get really emotional and angry.
It's a good thing I have my best friends here.
They support me with everything I'm going through.
The good, the bad and the ugly. It's now time to go home.
I couldn't be more sad about it.
Palm Springs just has a way of making me forget about my problems.
I don't think I was ready to face Brian yet.
The last thing I want to do is let him see me cry.
I just can't have that happen.
I packed my clothes along with everyone else.
We would occasionally break out into random clothes fights and fits of giggles.
"I've had so much fun." Nique said with a smile.
"Yeah me too. I feel so different." Jaden said with a cute little smile.
"You are different, Jaden. I'm so proud of the progress you've made honey." Kat said.
Jaden smiled hugely.
"Do you think Johnny is going to still love me even though I'm a little different?" She asked in a quiet voice.
We all turned to look at her and she was looking down at her feet, nervously biting her nails.
We all circled around her and sat her on the bed.
Her eyes were filling with tears and she was trembling.
"Johnny's not gonna love me anymore! He fell in love with the quiet, shy and dependant Jaden. Not the Jaden that will finally stand up for herself. I'm gonna lose the love of my life because I don't want people running over me anymore!" Jaden cried.
She was getting hysterical and it was completely ridiculous.
"Jaden! Honey! Stop it!" I yelled.
I got her attention and she stared at me in shock.
"Sweetheart, Johnny is insanely in love with you. What makes you think that he could ever fall out of love with you?" I asked in total shock that she would even think that.
"Because I'm not the one he fell in love with anymore!" She cried again.
"Honey, you are still Jaden." Val said softly.
"He's still gonna be in love with you because you are still you." Alaina assured her.
"You are. You're just more new and improved. If anything he's going to fall even more in love with you." Kat said.
"You'll be his irresistible little fighting machine. Johnny is going to love you regardless. He's so in love with you. That is never going to change." I said softly.
Jaden wiped her teary eyes with a small smile on her face.
"You guys are the best. You all make me feel so much better." Jaden said softly.
"It's cause we love you. We can't have you cutting yourself down." Kat said.
"I know. I just get so paranoid. Johnny's always seemed too good to be true. I always think that I'll wake up in the morning and he'll suddenly not want me anymore." She said.
"That's never going to happen." Alaina said firmly.
"Seriously, whose Johnny going to find that understands him better then you do?" I asked.
"Yeah and everyone else is about three feet taller then him." Nique said with a snicker.
We all joined in on the laughter.
"Don't make fun of my man!" Jaden said.
We all laughed again.
"You see. He's gonna love that." Kat said.
This vacation had been so much fun.
I was with my best friends having a great time in paradise.
But now I'm going back home.
A place that was once as familiar to me as the back of my hand.
Now, nothing is the way it used to be, and that scares me.
I guess I'm leaving paradise to go to hell.
But hey, I probably deserve it.