I walked into the hotel like a zombie.
I didn't see anyone, I didn't hear them.
I didn't care.
I made my way up to the hotel suite and unlocked the door mechanically.
It swung open and for a second I got a flashback of Brian and Michelle.
I blinked quickly and saw that it was Jaden and Katara on the bed.
Monique and Alaina were huddled around the computer looking at something and laughing.
Val had just walked out of the bathroom and was headed over to sit on the bed with the other two.
I tried to smile because I was happy that they were having a good time but I couldn't get the muscles around my mouth the move.
I walked in and the door slammed shut.
The girls jumped at the sudden sound and turned to look at me.
They all had smiles on their faces until they saw my expression.
"Cynthia! What's wrong?" Val asked.
I looked at her and my eyes blazed with anger until I realized that this was Val.
One of my best friends.
I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't.
They dragged me and sat me on the bed, all surrounding me.
"Honey, what happened?" Alaina asked.
I sat, just looking at them.
"What happened to your hands. You're bleeding!" Katara yelled.
"Did you see Brian? Is he okay?" Monique asked.
I turned at the sound of his name.
I felt the anger build in my chest again and I stood up and walked over to the mirror.
I looked at my reflection and I was suddenly disgusted by what I saw.
I pressed my finger to the mirror and rubbed it.
I don't know if I was trying to rub away my reflection or if I was trying to rub away whatever I thought was wrong with me.
When nothing changed I got angry.
I pushed the mirror and then I punched it.
I punched it over and over until all the girls pulled me away from it.
They all encircled me in a hug and I realized that I was sobbing.
"Honey, tell us what's wrong!" Val urged.
I pulled away from their embraces and jumped up.
I started pacing the room and knocking things over when I passed them.
"What's wrong with me!?" I screamed.
"There's nothing wrong with you." Jaden said loudly.
"There is something wrong with me! There has to be! I'm not good enough! I always knew it!" I yelled.
Monique ran up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me hard.
"What the hell happened?! Talk to us!" She screamed in my face.
"He cheated on me!" I yelled, chocking on a sob.
There was a gasp from every one in the room.
"No, Cynthia. He didn't. He's changed. You said that yourself." Val urged.
I laughed bitterly and wiped my face roughly, trying to get rid of the tears that wouldn't stop rolling down my face.
"That's what he told me. Just like he told me he loved me. Just like he said that he was never going to hurt me again! He fucking LIED! I was stupid enough to believe him!" I screamed.
All of the hysteria must have got to me because I collapsed onto the floor in a heap.
The girls immediately surrounded me, soothing me.
I cried and cried, chocking on sobs that I tried to keep in.
"He said he loved me and when I left he fucked someone else. How does someone who loves you do that to you!" I screamed.
"I love him! I gave him everything! I let him treat me like shit, I cleaned up after him! I was there when everyone else left him! How could he do this to me?" I screamed, squeezing my head.
I started getting hysterical again and I felt Jaden's small arms wrap around me.
I was so shocked that I actually stopped crying for a second.
"You listen to me." Jaden said firmly.
"There is nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me? You are a beautiful, smart and talented woman. You don't need him in your life. You are better than him and you deserve so much better!" She said.
I looked into her eyes and saw a strength there that I never noticed before.
I was completely absorbed in what she was telling me even though I didn't want to believe it.
"I know it feels like the ground is falling out from under you and you can't stand up, but it's not gonna be that way forever. I promise." Jaden told me, squeezing me tightly to her chest.
I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed into her chest.
"He told me he loved me, Jaden. Why did he lie?" I cried.
She didn't answer me.
I didn't expect her to.
But she held me close, rocking me back and forth when my sobs got stronger.
Soon after the rest of the girls surrounded me, soothing me as well.
I fell asleep to the soft murmurs of my friends.
Them telling me I was going to get past this and that they would be there with me no matter what.