"Open this door now!"
"We'll break it down if you don't."
"It's going to be fun. Come on!"
"Brian! I'll torch your truck if you don't open this door!"
"I love you Cynthia!"
I stood behind my front door, laughing at the girls as they tried to get me to come out of my house.
It was the day of my make over/get everything off my chest day.
I was not looking forward to it at all.
"Why are they threatening to break down the door and torch my truck?" Brian asked from behind me.
"They want to take me to the gym." I said.
Brian let out a laugh and I let it ring through my ears.
Things have gotten the tiniest bit better.
I was actually talking to him, somewhat.
"I don't see why that's so bad. They probably just want to spend some time with you." Brian said.
I let out a huff and Brian leaned past me and unlocked the door.
Nique and Kat looked like they were about to storm the door.
"I don't want to go." I whined.
"Too bad. You're going anyway." Alaina said.
This was her idea so I knew she wouldn't let me weasel my way out of it.
I turned to look at Brian.
"He can't save you so don't even try it." Val said with a laugh.
She's been acting a lot happier and less stressed since her showdown with Michelle the other day.
"It could be fun." Brian added.
I glared at him and he looked at the ground with a grin.
"Fine." I said, giving up.
The girls cheered and I went upstairs, changing into work out clothes.
I walked down the stairs and it looked like Nique and Alaina were interrogating Brian.
"Alright, knock it off! Let's get this over with." I grumbled.
"Geez, Ms. Grumpy Pants. We're doing this for you." Jaden said.
I smiled and went ot o give her a hug.
"I'm only going cause your the only one that said you loved me." I said.
She laughed and all the girls made their way out the door.
I turned to Brian and he was smiling.
"I'll be back later, if I survive." I said.
Brian laughed and pulled me into his chest.
"You're gonna be fine. You might even have fun. Go, enjoy yourself." He said.
I nodded and he planted a kiss on my forehead.
"I love you." He said.
I nodded and walked out the door.
Brian was staying true to his word and taking things slow.
He didn't stop saying he loved me.
He just stopped expecting me to say it back.
He didn't see it but I know it hurts him when I don't say it back.
I went to the car and got in, Nique flooring it the second my door closed.
"Well ladies, off to the gym we go!" Alaina yelled.
I stood in front of the punching bag, just staring at it.
"This is really stupid you guys." I said.
"No, you're just trying to find a way out of this." Val said.
"Think about Brian. About all the things that he's done to hurt you. Imagine the bag is him, and let it all out." Jaden said.
I stared at the bag, concentrating.
I remembered back to all those nights I stayed up, waiting for him to come stumbling home.
I hit the bag once, watching it swing back.
To all the times I've gone to hug him, and I've smelt other womens perfume on him.
I hit it two more times, this time much harder.
To the time I saw a hickey on his chest that he tried to hide from me.
I hit it two more times, anger starting to fill my mind.
To the time when I caught him in bed with Michelle, in my bed.
I went crazy.
I started punching the bag, over and over.
I couldn't get the image out of my head.
I punched and kicked the bag, ignoring the sting in my already bruised hands.
"You motherfucker!" I cried, realizing that there were tears rolling uncontrollably down my face.
"I gave you everything." I cried harder.
I beat the bag until I couldn't breath anymore.
I fell on the floor crying, and I covered my face with my hands.
"What did I let him do to me?" I asked, through sobs.