Red Room

RR35 A Whiter Shade of Pale

It was tearing his heart in two, hearing her cry out for him to come to her, but he couldn't. He was evil and had done terrible things, and he was afraid he would hurt her even more. Besides, he had agreed to go back to his Asgardian prison so he figured this was the best way to leave her behind. It was just so hard to leave her so broken, maybe he should go say goodbye...

As Loki fought with his mind, he flashed back to the night he buried Ksenia. He had taken her from Natalia after wiping her mind and set out into the forest. Tears flowed from his eyes and froze before they hit the ground as he dug into the freezing cold earth. He had been so happy before, and even started to dream of a life with Natalia and Ksenia, but that reality was ripped away from him by the greed of the Red Room. After he wrapped her in the golden shawl and placed her into the grave, he told the baby he had barely gotten to know goodbye for the last time.

When Loki ascended back to Asgard, he made a beeline for his room, wanting to be alone with his newly darkened mind. Waiting for his return, Lady Sif was already there to find out what had happened.

"Leave Sif, now is not the time."

"Loki what happened? Did Ksenia..." The look Loki gave her was all she needed to know. Loki collapsed into her arms and she let him grieve.

"Loki I am so sorry, can you talk to me?" She asked him.

He pulled away and headed to his window. Gathering himself, he told her. He needed someone else to know. "It was all too much for her. I got her back to her mother, and she died in her arms. Then I died in front of them both. I took her memories away Sif, she will never remember her daughter, or even me for that matter, but I will remember her into eternity."

Sif walked up to Loki with tears in her eyes. She understood his sorrow though not as deeply. "Could I see her?" she asked hesitantly.

"See who Sif? Everything I've ever loved is gone, there is nothing to see."

"I want to say goodbye to her."

"I already buried her in that wretched forest, she's gone!" he yelled.

"Then let us go and check on the mother, she must be terribly confused after you took her memories."

Loki hadn't thought about that and he wanted to kick himself. Natalia was out there all by herself with no memory of what had happened for her to get there. She would remember taking down the Red Room, but not why. He agreed to go back to make sure she was okay.

The two made it to Midgard with no problem and Loki led the way to the compound. The whole walk there, Sif couldn't help but notice the frozen blood along their path. Though she wouldn't ask, she knew Loki had been through an ordeal. When they made it to the compound, they saw the burning building as it was collapsing in on itself. They also saw the back of Natalia, watching the flames rise as she backed away from it. She then ran into the forest with a backpack over her shoulder. Loki was pleased to see that she now had the energy to run and he wished he could see her face one last time, but that final glimpse of her fiery red hair was all he could handle.

"She's fine, can we go now please?" Loki asked tiredly.

He looked to Sif to see her hesitant look and knew what it meant. With a sigh, he nodded to their left and led the way to where he had buried Ksenia. Upon arrival, it looked as if the grave had been disturbed, like a wild animal tried pushing the stones off but were unsuccessful at reaching what had lied within. Loki kneeled down and replaced the stones carefully as Sif knelt beside him. She had closed her eyes as she whispered her goodbyes. This mortal child had affected her in a way she could have never imagined.