Vervalogous Notes

The Pursuit of Contentment Part 2

Why did you leave me?"

Those were the first words I said the instant I realized he was there in the front.

"I thought you didn't need Me." he said with those blank eyes again.

"You know that I need you the most."

"Don't be foolish."

He looked around.

"Do you like this place?"

"Yes. I'm proud of it."

He touched one of the mirrors in the alley with a finger and looked at me.

"What if I destroy this?"

"No-!"

One by one, the mirror walls of the alley shattered. It echoed through the whole world and left nothing but pieces. Two long lines of shattered mirrors in the long alley. I looked at his hand. It was bleeding so much.

"Why are you doing this?!" I shouted furiously at him. But again he just looked back blankly.

"I'm doing this for you."

I was perplexed. But out of puzzlement, a tear dropped from my eye.

"...stop hurting yourself..."I muttered looking down. Tears are now streaming down.

"That's what you're doing right now."

I looked at him.

"You're just hurting yourself. You're torturing yourself. This world hasn't done you anything good."

I just stared at him. His blood dripping while my tears are streaming.

"I...I don't understand." I finally uttered.

"Living in this world only caused you to believe in false hopes and dream of nothing else."

"This is the world that we built. I'm proud of it."

"A world of guilt and regrets?"

"I never thought of it that way. I'll always believe in her."

"Yes. But did you ever believed in yourself?"

He picked up a piece of the mirror and stared to it." Last time we talked, I thought you trust me. But I didn't felt it."

He threw away the mirror and looked at me again." What is the purpose of the Mirror Alley?"

"Its a place of self-reflection of course. In the time we're so lost, we always go here. We always find ourselves every time."

"You found me...but what about her? Did she find herself?"

"No."

"What about you? Did you find her here?"

I was silenced. I looked around. The world revolves. The sky was gray. There was no wind nor water. The trees were dead. I suddenly felt alone.

I cried.

"She left you."

It was the truth. All the time I was here in our world, I've been alone.

"She's not here anymore. Believe me. Are you waiting for her...?"

"I can't answer that."

"You got time, and she got her freedom. Do you think when she comes back, everything will be the same?"

"Of course not."

"You let her go."

"I can't keep her. She feels inferior by my side."

"Why?"

"She thought I built too much here that she didn't even have to do any."

"It doesn't matter. Right?"

"I know. But she's not thinking the same way."

"You know what right is?

"Yes."

"What?"

"To live in our world together. Despite of differences and imperfections."

"But she left you."

"I couldn't stop her. We have to part ways. Maybe she'll see herself. And maybe find me someday."

"What you gonna do if that happens?"

"I don't know. That would be a long time. There will be so much more things to be lost and find..."

I looked at him."...but first I have to keep you."

He smiled for the first time. "Do you love me?"

"I have to love myself before I'll love somebody else."

I smiled and wiped my tears. "Let's destroy this world."

I take a final look around and I closed my eyes. Everything crumbled and I felt myself falling down...down...

I woke up. I was here in my own bed with grandma shouting for breakfast and the crows of the roosters. I stood up and looked at the mirror. I was smiling, the first genuine smile that I did.

"...you've found me..."

I heard the whisper again and I knew he's there.

"I know."

The pursuit ends at last and I know I'll be contented for what I have and I have done in life. There will be much more opportunities and chances to come: all there waiting in the corner of life. :)

I will find you. :)