The Pondering 8: Time, Death and Endings

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“I guess in the end, you’ll start thinking about the beginning.”

-Mr John Smith (Brad Pitt), Mr and Mrs Smith

The calendar is made for setting dates, the watch is made for finding time and time is only formulated for deadlines. Time is represented by numbers and it’s the only thing here on life that can’t be altered in any way possible. It’s an unstoppable force, the highest ultimatum. It’s the bringer of the inevitable truth that we’re all dying in this very moment.

Yes, we’re all dying.

Another year passed and death has been closer than before (we really don’t know when). What kind of things did I learned after a year? I’ll recount:

1. January

‘Not all beginnings are new.’

-I’ve found new people and eventually new love but when I’ve thought about it, everything else isn’t that really new. All of those things that happened before were the same thing but only with different people. The only challenge is that I mustn’t do the same mistakes which I’ve done before.

2. February

‘Contentment is satisfaction, satisfaction is to security.’

-by this time, I’ve felt fulfilled than ever before. I’ve got everything that I needed and I’ve felt the security I’ve never felt before. Thus, contentment is also security.

3. March

‘There’s also yourself.’

-Like every other feeling, the strong ones were replaced by the stronger. I was able to control and divided it to the better; which was also taking care of me.

4. April

‘Security means time.’

-when you’re just too sure, you’ll not rush and you’ll see that time is giving its own way to you. Assurance has never been so good at making time.

5. May

‘The comfort of commitment.’

-what does it feels like to be committed truly? I’ve got a taste of it and I was decided like never before. I’m seeing things in a much planned perspective. We’re just the only one who’s waiting for time and things to happen.

6. June

‘Prove.’

-Proving is always the challenge. Every day is a new opportunity and challenge for me and life is my only enemy and friend.

7. July

‘The Favor Bank’

-a new concept I’ve established. Now money is the new unnecessary.

8. August

‘Happiness is the best gift.’

-I’ve learned that giving it is the hardest but the most fruitful gift ever.

9. September

‘Challenge yourself.’

-opening up new problems is the only way to get better.

10. October

‘Application is the only notion.’

-challenging me comes to its peak as the battle comes. I admit that I took a rather large step and I was able to see the real world. I was smacked by the truth and damned by my loss. Application is the only solution for the goal.

11. November

‘Embracing reality.’

-it was the hardest and greatest downfall. I’ve lost all my confidence and my optimism shattered into little pieces of despair. I felt empty and became more worried about my career than any other else. Will I reach it? Will I be better? Trying is the only answer that is left for us.

12. December

‘Handling isn’t about getting hold of it all; handling is all about taking care of it one by one.’

-This quote is of my original and one of my earliest entries (around September 2011). Now I appreciate more the meaning of this one. I’ve handled too much and was blinded by it too. Now I’ve got only one thing in my mind; perfection.

Surely, time and date are just numbers but they represent something more vital and crucial to people. They’re maybe deadlines or a start for others, some aren’t even thinking about it. But then, when you’re near the end you’ll start to think about the beginning. Why do it later? Do it now. It’ll never hurt to think about everything over again.

Time represents a whole lot more. Remember, it’s killing us.

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