The Pursuit of Contentment

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To stay the same when everything isn't...

I was talking to myself last night.

"How's life?" he said.

"Same old."

"Don't fool yourself."

"I'm not."

"You're lying." he stared at me.

"I'm saying the truth."

"Truth hurts."

I looked at him. "Where I am anyway?"

"You're in the same place. Look around."

I gazed at him. He just stared back.

"Where are you anyway?" he said with his blank eyes. I looked away.

"I...I am lost."

"Look at me."

I looked at him.

"I'm still here right?"

"...yes."

"What are you looking for?"

"Happiness."

"Where's the butterfly?"

"It came back. But its wings...it's not the same."

"Is it your fault?"

"No. I think it's yours."

"Everyone have their own slice on mistakes."

"I think I have the biggest one."

"No. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Will you believe on what will I say?"

"Yes..."

"You did great."

"Did I?"

"You gave your best."

"I think so..."

"Are you waiting for something to come back?"

"Nothing left me. It's just not the same."

"What are you looking for?"

"...contentment."

He stopped talking. I looked around. He's gone. He left me a note:

"Try finding me first."

I looked around. It's still the same place. The same world she left me. It's not changing. I looked at my hands. It's crumbling. I was falling apart.

"Where are you looking...?"

There was a whisper.

"Where are you hiding?" I shouted. But it only echoed through the endless alleys and towers we built. No one answered.

I grasped the note he gave me and started walking. I'll find him. And when I see him, I will able to say the truth without hurting myself anymore.

I will find you.

I will never give up.

I know you're there.

I won't stop this pursuit.

Just wait.

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