Scribbles (A Niall Horan fan fiction)

45) Epilogue

6 March 2013

            Been awhile.  A long while.

            And while a lot has happened and there has been plenty to write about, I just…haven’t felt the need to write it down.

            It kind of saddens me to admit it, but I think I’m outgrowing my diary.

            It’s been nice being able to track my life and go back to see what happened on certain days.  It was convenient for fact checking and just reminiscing, but I feel as if I’ve outgrown that.  Besides, with social media the way it is, diaries seem almost obsolete.  I can use Facebook or my cell phone for fact checking and reminiscing. 

            And while I do think it’s time for me to retire my diary, I do owe it one last entry.  So here is an overview of the last couple of months and some parting words.

            I did end up spending the holidays with Niall and his family.  I flew out on the 23rd to Ireland with him and was greeted by the Horan family.  I felt awkward around them at first simply because Niall and I had literally just gotten back together and I knew they knew everything.  But Niall gets his ease and carefree attitude from them.  They welcomed me back with hugs and kisses.  And although it was short notice, there were still a few presents from them for me under their tree.  It felt really natural being around them after time.  And if was nice to be a loving home for the holidays.  I flew home on Christmas while Niall stayed behind to spend quality time with the family.  I spent the remainder of Christmas with Dad and Chase and Hagrid.  It was all very lovely.  I even got to meet Sharon when she flew out to be with Chase on boxing day.  She’s a great girl and she makes Chase very happy so I dig her.

            I was able to spend a lot of time with the boys while they were home and I hardly went a day without seeing Camilla, Fiona, and—sometimes—Jessica.  Believe it or not, Emily flew out on the 29th to visit.  I thought she was going to have an actual heart attack when I brought her to Harry’s house with the gang for a kickback.  All of the boys greeted her enthusiastically with hugs and told her how much they were looking forward to meeting the girl that kept me in line (honestly, what do they think I get up to on my own?).  Emily never quite got used to hanging out with them but everyone seemed to enjoy each other’s company.  I spent the new year with everyone, including Emily, and it was lovely.  Zayn being the new slut that he is gave Emily her kiss at midnight and I have never seen anyone make the face that she made.  It was tough saying goodbye to the boys on the 2nd but it made it easier knowing I would be able to talk to Niall while he was away.

            I went home a few days later with Emily.  She talked my ear off about the boys the entire plane ride home.  I wanted to remind her that I had been present for all of her stories but I couldn’t be bothered.

            School has been going well.  Although, I thought being an English major would be nice because we got to read for a grade.  I was mistaken.  It’s not so nice after all.  Emily is still on the fast track to success.

            Each of the boys have been out to visit me since I left England.  Sometimes they would come alone and sometimes in pairs or in groups.  During one particularly memorable visit, Harry, Zayn, and Niall came to visit me and we were all in my room with Emily.  Emily had finally gotten used to their presence though she still regarded them in deep reverence.  Harry and Zayn were showing all of us their new tattoos.

            “You guys have seriously got to stop with the tattoos,” I sighed.

            “Bailey!” Emily gasped loudly.

            “What?” I asked blankly, not at all expecting that response from her.

            “You can’t just tell Harry and Zayn to stop getting tattoos,” she hissed.

            “Yes I can,” I argued.

            “Don’t listen to her,” Emily said importantly to the guys.

            “We never do,” Zayn grinned and I faux glared at him.

            “The fans love the tattoos,” Emily continued.  “They’re awesome.”

            Niall laughed at the look on my face.

            Niall and I have been doing really well.  I’m sure my diary and a few of the fans are none too pleased that there isn’t anymore drama between us but I don’t think I’d be able to handle anymore drama with him.  He means too much and I really do believe we’re meant to be together.  He’s my everything and I’m not going to apologize to the fans for that happiness.

            However, if you must have drama, Diary, I really do need to talk about Harry.

            I really hoped and still do hope that he finds a nice girl that will make him happy.  I know it’s bound to happen but for the time being, it’s getting hard to watch.  In the last three months, Harry has had a string of girlfriends, none of which lasted more than a month.  Some of these girls were singers or actresses that were looking for a little publicity.  Some were fresh faced models who were trying to get their foot in the door.  Some genuinely fancied him but they couldn’t handle the backlash from the fans or the attention from the media.  Harry doesn’t talk about it much, but the times he does bring it up, I can tell he’s losing faith.  All of these relationships seem to be tainted or destroyed because of his fame and success.  And while the most exciting thing I have ever succeeded at was making friends at a new school in England, I could only imagine what it was like to suffer from your own success.  He wasn’t doing anything wrong.  He was just being normal Harry.  It just so happens that “normal Harry” is also a worldwide sensation who can barely even go to the bathroom anymore with making the front page of the tabloid magazines.  The worst part about it is that Harry has gotten this image of a manwhore because of all the girls he’s dated lately but the media neglects to notice that his heart is in the right place.

            I know it’s wearing him down and it breaks my heart.  He’s one of the best guys I know and if anyone deserves to find happiness in love, it’s him.

            I guess I’ll just have to hope for the best on that one.  I mean, the kid is still young.  It’s not like he only has a few years left in his prime.

            Let’s see…what else what else…

            Maybe that’s another reason I’m foregoing on the diary.  My life is downright boring now.

            I have the man of my dreams, the best friends in the world, and a relatively bright future. 

            I’m going to knock on wood that things don’t change much in that respect.

            So, Diary, I apologize for leaving you on such a boring note. Just rest assured knowing that almost as soon as I put my down and close you, something dramatic and life shattering will occur.  And you will never know about it because I’m not going to write anymore.  So, HA! HA TO YOU, DIARY!

            I don’t know why I became so hostile there.  There was no reason for that, Diary, and I apologize. 

            Well, Diary, it’s been fun.  You’ve been there for me for the ups and downs and I know I’ll always have you to fall back on.  You hold some of my deepest secrets and I want to thank you for always being there for me. I’ll keep you forever.  It’s possible I might accidentally kick you under the bed or I’ll tuck you away in a dresser and forget about you.  But I know that every time I find you it will always be a happy surprise.  And I’ll always take a break from cleaning my room or packing boxes before a move to sit back and read you.  I’ll smile, laugh, cry, cringe, and shake my head in embarrassment at the words on these pages but I’ll always look at those words with fondness and hold them close to my heart.

            Thank you, Diary, for everything you have done for me.

            And with that I must say it.

            Goodbye and goodnight.