Scribbles (A Niall Horan fan fiction)

39) Butterball: Part Deux

Did I want him to kiss me?  All morality aside, hell yes I did.  I mean, I had been down that road once, very briefly, and it was great.  Imagine traveling down that road for more than three seconds.  It was almost too much to handle just imagining it.  And who in their right mind doesn’t want to kiss Harry Styles?  I’m sure even some straight guys are a little curious. It’s possible.  And here he was, asking me if it was okay to kiss me.  And if circumstances had been different, I would have jumped his bones long ago.

            But circumstances were not different.  And as much as I did want to kiss Harry, I loved Niall.  I do love Niall.  I had really hurt Niall once and he meant everything to me.  I never wanted to do that again.

            “I…I don’t think…”

            “Hey, don’t worry about it,” Harry interjected quickly.  “It was worth a shot.”

            “Thanks for asking.”

            “Er, yeah.  You’re welcome.”

            “I just need to talk to him, you know?  I need to sort this all out.”

            “I understand, Bee.  Don’t worry about it.”

            Easy for him to say.  I was worried about it.  If he really loved me as he claimed to do, I was in the process of hurting him.  And at that moment, I knew what it felt like to really be hurting at the hands of the one you love.  I didn’t want to make Harry feel that way.  I also didn’t know how to avoid it.  So I decided to postpone that issue.

            “The sun’s going to come up soon,” I told Harry.  “We should get back to the room for some sleep.”

            “Yeah,” he agreed.

            We drove back to the resident parking lot in silence.  We walked back to my room in silence. 

            We walked into the room.  Emily was asleep on her bed but she jolted awake as soon as we entered the room.  I must have looked pretty bad because Emily’s doting face turned to concern when she saw me.  Lovely.

            Harry grabbed his backpack and set it down next to my bed.  Then he promptly collapsed onto the floor and used the backpack as a pillow.

            “Um…what are you doing?”

            “I thought we were sleeping.”

            “Yeah, but why are you on the floor?”

            “Because your bed is the size of a cereal box and I don’t want to, like…you know.  I just think it’s…”

            “You can sleep in my bed,” Emily offered quietly.  Harry and I turned to look at her.  She had already pressed herself against the wall leaving Harry more than enough room.  Her face was bright red and she seemed intent to look at anything but us.  Harry looked at me curiously and I nodded my head quickly.  He considered it for a millisecond before jumping to his feet and sitting on Emily’s bed.  Her head snapped in Harry’s direction and she gaped at him.

            “Don’t you have any clothes to change into?” I asked.

            “I sleep naked,” Harry announced.

            Emily looked a bit lightheaded.

            “Yes, I know,” I rolled my eyes.