Part 12

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If I was not myself

And you were someone else

I'd say so much to you

And I would tell the truth

'Cause I can hardly breathe

When your hands let go of me

The ice is thinning out

And my feet brace themselves

I'm there in the water

Still looking for ya

I'm there in the water

Can't you see, can't you see?

"h-how do you-." Yoongi's eyes clouded with fear as he kneeled in front of me. My thumb gently caressing his soft cheeks as I shake my head at him. I couldn't imagine him lifting the gun and pressing it against my mother's skull... I didn't want to imagine it or even picture it.... I couldn't... Not the goofy, flirt that sat in front of me. Not the man who was ordered to protect me... That wasn't the man who killed my mother; no. That was the man who was ordered to kill her.

"I know you didn't do it on purpose." I say softly as I feel my throat burn. "I know." I repeated myself as Yoongi closes his eyes in my hands and sighs. "Did you know about all of this?" I asked as I removed my shaking hold from Yoongi and wipe at the tears that tried to escape.

Yoongi's eyes snapped open as my hands remove from him. His eyes were blood shot and the way he stood up and rubbed at the back of his neck, I knew he wasn't in his best state of mind. "all I know is that your father brutally murdered my parents, took me in-." He paused as his eyes rested on my blurry ones. "and ordered me to kill your mother for being a 'traitor.'" His voice cracked as he spoke causing him to push against the nearest wall and rest his head against it. "I didn't want to do it (y/n)." His back shook as a small sob escaped his lips. "I should have shot at him-." He grunted as he slammed his fist against the wall.

"Yoongi you would have died if you did-."

"maybe that's what should have happened." Yoongi interrupted causing my eyes to widened and the room to fall silent as his words circled the air. He turned his body slowly towards my direction and let a broken smile cross his lips. "I didn't even know she your mom (y/n)..." he said in almost a whisper as his salty tears rolled over his dry lips. "I know how it feels to lose your mom..." his voice cracked as he rubbed at his face and tried to regain his composure.

"Yoongi it-." I paused as I stood up and pushed myself against his body. My shaking hands wrapped around his strong torso as I buried my face in his chest. "it's okay." I whispered as I repeated myself over and over again. Not like I wanted Yoongi to know that I was okay with what happened but more like I was trying to tell myself that it is okay...

Yoongi's hands rubbed against my back as he let me cry. "What else did he tell you?" he asked as he pulled back to wipe at my stained cheeks. "why were Hoseok and Tae together (y/n)? Do they know where Namjoon is?"

~

My hands gripped the sheets tightly as I told the full story to Yoongi. There were questions within the explaining but afterwards the room just fell silent. "s-so what do we do?" He asked as he turned his head towards my direction.

I sighed as I rubbed at my forehead trying to think of something. "well first of all we need to get Namjoon back. I don't care what happens we have to get him b-."

"why? He doesn't care about us-." Yoongi paused as he scoffed and rubbed his hand over his face. "He started this because he loves you and wants revenge on your father for; one: killing his parents and two: abusing you." Yoongi sighed as he fell back against the bed. "He got himself in the mess why should we-."

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