For Your Eyes Only

S e v e n t y - e i g h t

Austin frowned at me and Mrs. Swift still hasn't said a word. She only nodded, which means I had to continue with it. I took a deep breath and started on, "I'd like to clear out the past first," I said with a smile –it's the kind of torturous smile which I used to keep my tears from falling. It's never easy for me too, yet people assumed I had it that way after our break up. Smiles and laughter could be misleading. . . "It doesn't matter if you don't believe me anymore but I'm asking that you hear out my side first."

"Amuse us with the explanations that were ten years too late." Austin said, rudely and as a matter of fact, offensive yet I just shook it off in the fact that I've done worse.

"Austin, I assume you didn't know the fact that I talked with Mr. Scott Swift before I left Taylor alone." I told him and judging from their facial expressions, all three of them hadn't the slightest idea.

I sensed Taylor faced me with her face of disbelief yet I didn't face her, I had to continue. "It's not his fault, it was my decision anyways. . . but what he said were the things that struck me the most. He said Taylor was better off without me as the accident nearly killed her, hadn't it? And if I kept it up, I might end up being successful, in a different way, of course."

"If you remember, after the accident, I didn't show myself much, my apologies on that Mrs. Swift. I didn't since I couldn't find the courage to face all of you, I mean, how could I? And I suppose that's when I started thinking about Taylor's future rather than mine. . . I thought it was a better choice but then the moment I learned that she was leaving, months after, I thought to myself, I shouldn't let go of her. . . so I showed up the day when she was leaving, only to figure out I was too late."

I reckon they don't believe me so they shifted their gazes to Taylor as though asking if what I said were true. I faced her as well and she nodded. "It's true, I made dad keep it a secret."

"Well, that explains the first brush. Now what made you change your mind?! Ten years, buddy, ten long ass years and you decided to just go all 'Taylor I still love you.'" Austin said, still with his rude tone. I couldn't say anything against what he said though, it's somewhat accurate to me.

"Austin, can you please not be rude for one second?" Taylor asked politely. She kept her tone calm and herself stable whereas I was barely keeping it together.

"Oh sorry, sis, forgive me for being rude." He replied sarcastically. "At least I'm not the damn guy who left you for ten years without an explanation. And did I mention he left you with phobia of passenger seats? A slight anxiety? A couple of weeks of crying alone?--"

My eyes started going down with his play of words. I know I did all of those things, and I've suffered, torturing myself with those thoughts for a hundred nights. . . but getting reminded for it was even more painful. I didn't need to be reminded. I am well aware. Why does he even have to remind me?!

"Austin." Mrs. Swift said. "We're supposed to listen, not judge at all." She said with her gentle voice and Austin immediately shut his mouth. Then, she looked at me, "You may continue, Harry."

"Thank you, Mrs. Swift." I said gratefully and then shifted my gaze to Austin. "I am well aware of those things, Austin. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what happened to Taylor and I understand. I have a sister too but unlike the man who left her, I still have at least a bit of my humanity to come back and apologize. . . I'm not asking you to give me credit for that but I'm asking you to try to see it from my point of view."

"Done, you can now continue."

"What has Taylor mentioned about me during these past months?" I asked, from where she left, I can continue the story.

"It was when she was taking care of your daughter with Louis." Mrs. Andrea replied.

And then Austin spoke up, "Of your, I repeat, your daughter with Louis." He emphasized a few of those words and yet I continue on ignoring the fact that he was starting to get on my nerves, just a little though, I would probably act the same way. . .