Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Thirty Seven - Acceptance

Aiden's P.O.V

I thought I was a mess yesterday...I thought I hit rock bottom and passed the point of no return...

That was until I woke up this morning and had to watch the girl I love go through what I went through just a day before her...only she took it ten times worse.

I have never felt so helpless in my life, never been so desperate.

Hannah was broken.

She hasn't spoken to anyone since Luke told her what happened last night. Not me, not Luke, not the doctors.

The just stares blankly at the wall, she looks so empty, so lost. I think the reality of it all hit her today.

I haven't left her bedside once. Luke went home and brought me back a change of clothes 'cause there was no way I was leaving her.

I can't really seem to speak to anyone either. I feel so numb. The two of us just sit here in silence, mourning the loss of something we never had.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair again, pulling on it hard and wishing this was all a dream.

Luke was sitting opposite me, on the other side of Hannah's hospital bed. Hannah hasn't slept since she woke up in the middle of the night and we told her everything, I'm actually quite surprised I managed to get to sleep considering everything but I think I was just so tired I couldn't help it.

There was a light knock on the door and all our heads snapped in that direction. Abbey poked her head in, her face wet with tears as she nodded to someone behind her and stepped inside.

Before the door could shut fully, another body made itself present, followed by another, and another, and another. In came Sam, Michael, Chuck and Sophie.

They all gave us sad, sympathetic smiles but I ignored them, as did Hannah. We didn't want their sympathy.

They stayed for a while, chatting quietly among themselves with Luke. Every so often they would turn their heads and look in our direction, as if they wanted to help us, to do something, but what could they do? Nothing.

Hannah was holding my hand tightly, not once letting go, but not looking at me, it was as if it hurt her even more when she looked at me, like she needed me there but I was a constant reminder of what could have been. That hurt, but I knew she just needed time. Time I would give her, because time was all I had.

Hannah's P.O.V

My friends kept looking at us, like they wanted to say something or help us, but they couldn't do anything to help us, there was nothing we wanted, I felt broken and empty, and by the looks of it Aiden felt the same.

I held Aiden's hand tightly, but I couldn't look a him. Every time I did and saw the saddened look on his face it broke what was last of my heart into even smaller pieces. I felt so guilty. He probably thought I was pushing him away. I wasn't...I needed him.