Chapter 23: Martyrs

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“For the interview, I am going to make you look as young and innocent as possible,” Cinna tells me the next morning. “We have to tone your reputation down after you got a 12 for the private session. So you are having no make-up, flat shoes, a dress that’s age appropriate. Here,” he hands me the suit bag. “Try this dress on to see if I need to make any adjustments before tomorrow. I based it on a friendly bird called a blue tit.”

            I do. It is heavier than it looks. It is beautiful though. The skirt of the dress is knee length and layered with yellow fabric, which looks light and fluffy when I put it on. The bodice is thick and blue with sleeves which reach to my elbows. It does remind of a blue tit; I sometimes saw them when I was in the trees. They would never sing to me and were not particularly friendly, but they were pretty and did not cause harm.

            “It’s beautiful,” I say. “Thank you.”

            After an hour of learning manners with Effie, she realised that my manners were decent enough. Even though I do not come from an upper class area of District 11, I have always tried to be polite. It is a simple yet endearing quality that takes almost no effort with all the reward. That’s what Effie told me, anyway. She was pleased to see I do not need coaching.

            So now I have a free day to do whatever I please. I have almost nothing to do: I have very few friends here and most of the ones I do have are discussing what to do in their interviews.

            Thinking of friends reminds me of Plough. What happened to him? I don’t know if he is dead, or if he is hurt, or if he has been arrested, or if he is safe. I wish I knew. It’s horrible not knowing. At least my family will know that I’m dead if I die in the Games: I will never find out what happened to Plough. I remember how we met up on the roof and I feel nostalgic. I want to go up there again.

            I go out of my room and into the hall. The District 12 rooms are on the top floor, so I am a little closer to the roof than I was last year. I go up the stairs at the end of the hall and am greeted with a warm rush of air as I step out onto the roof. It is a beautiful day and I almost forget about the awful interview I will have tomorrow.

            I sit in the sun and suddenly feel very lonely. Even though Plough and I met under completely different circumstances, being here makes me ache inside. I consider leaving, but I decide not to. There is nothing else for me to do at the moment. Although a part of me is sad, I also feel strangely happy. This could be almost the last sun I ever see, I don’t know if the arena will be dark or tundra, and I want to see everything I can while I can. The sun, the stars, the moon, Seeder, ladybirds, mockingjays, the fields, trees, smiles, my siblings…

            “Hey,” I hear a voice behind me. My heart jumps at the thought that it could be Plough: of course, it isn’t. I turn and see that it is Johanna. “What are you doing up here?”

            “Effie thinks my manners are okay so I was given the day off,” I grin. “Is it the same for you?”

            She sits down next to me and laughs.

            “My escort gave up on me when I got out my axe. She said I probably remember everything from last time. I have no clue what I’m doing tomorrow; I can’t pretend to be innocent because they all know what I’m like now,” she sighs.

            I don’t know what I’m going to do either. I don’t know if Haymitch has even planned anything, so we move on.

            “I’ve been wondering,” she starts. “What did you do in your private session to gain a twelve? We haven’t really seen each other since then.”

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