Demons x Malum

thirty three •

saturday, march 21, 2014

thirty three •

I slide my hands down the front of my chest, ring the doorbell, and step back with my hands in the depths of my jean pockets. I contemplate on turning around and going home, rethinking the whole decision to come over here, but before I can rethink my decision, the front door open.

"calum!" liz lets out a surprised laugh, opening the screen door, and pulling my lean body into a tight hug. "haven't seen you in a while. what's been going on?"

"soccer." I shrug, a fake smile plastered on my face. I just wanted to come over, and hang out with my best friend for the first time in days. I miss him, and as much as I hate to admit it; I need to rant to someone that truly understand my position in life. luke has, and always will understand me.

"oh that's too bad," liz chuckles sadly, her eyes ghosting over my lenient posture, and holding back a scowl at the noticeable difference in my composure. "Luke's in the basement."

I nod, almost jogging to the basement, but pausing when I near the door. the sound of a familiar giggle has my heart cracking into a million pieces, and I struggle to keep myself together. with all the strength I have left, I pull the door open, and take the stairs two at a time. my eyes first lock with ashton's, a look of complete shock covering his facial features, and before I can even think about turning around and running away from my issues, my eyes lock with the pair of beautiful green eyes I've been avoiding for days. a tsunami of miss for the boy washes away any oxygen withheld in my lungs, and I'm a millimeter away from bursting into tears.

"what're you doing here, calum?" luke questions, my eyes not moving from michael's; all I want is for him to run into my arms and allow me to snuggle our pain away.

"I just came to talk. I can leave..." I trail, itching the back of my neck as my
nerves take control of my limbs and cause the skin to quake.

"no, it's fine. take a seat, we're just playing video games."

"okay." I whisper, taking slow steps, and plopping down on the couch a few feet away from michael. I miss the friction of his skin on mine, I miss the smell of his shampoo filling my nostrils during cuddle times, and I certainly miss the rhythm of his beating heart.

luke begins another round of zombies, all of them filling the silence with grunts, and jokes. michael laughs without a struggle at each, the sound crumbling my fragile walls into more rubble. if this continues, by the time I leave, I'll be nothing but a mound of broken dirt and a soul without a home.

as the time passes, and my eyes search michael's through the dim light, and I notice one thing;

I'm dying on the inside without him, and the only way to feel heartbroken about someone is if you love them. I love michael gordon clifford, and whether or not he's mine or not- I will always be his.

+++
short I know.

but like it needed to be there.

he loves michael, wut bout mike?!?!

thoughts ???

love you all - meagan