Demons x Malum

fifteen •

about to double update cause short chapter

sunday, feburary 15, 2015

fifteen •

michael clifford's pov

calum left an hour ago, and i still haven't moved from my bed. I stare at my phone, continuously answering text messages from ashton, replying to fellow directioners on twitter, and even scrolling through my harry styles filled tumblr – nothing ends the gut wrenching feeling of loneliness.

I had never been the kid to beg for attention when I found myself alone. I relish in the feeling of silence, how the ability to sort thoughts becomes easier, but the down side is much too serious to enjoy actually being alone.

silence leads to over thinking, and over thinking leads doubting, and doubting leads to nothing but changed perspectives. I know if I start to think about calum, and the blonde bimbo I seen him with at his party – I'll doubt his feelings toward me. my demons will contort my image of calum into something evil, something that will continuously mock me till the day I die, something that will ruin my relationship with him.

that's what my demons do. they warp my imagine of people – expose the inner evils in everyone. ashton is my only friend, for specific reasoning that he's the only peer my demons found suitable for friendship.

i hate my demons. there always there, claiming to keep me company when I'm alone – there the biggest culprits for the feeling.

calum, the boy with the biggest heart of anyone I've ever seen, the easiest sense of humor, and a way of touching my heart like no one else; has taken my heart from the minute he sat beside me in the damned computer lab.

my demons saw him, and I can only
be grateful, that they saw him, as he really is. I fear the day that they misshape calum, the day they make him into something he isn't – the day they make him in to something I'll become horrified of.

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you guys may find this chapter useless, but it will make a lot of sense at the end of the story. as to why michael acted a curtain way toward everything.
love you all - meagan