Demons x Malum

thirty one •

thursday, march 12, 2015

thirty one •

"what're you doing?" luke questions, knocking on the glass of my car window.

"when?"

"right now."

"I'm heading to the facility," his face contorts to confusion. "I have to work keep up on soccer."

"yeah, but it's only March and soccer doesn't even start until like July, right? come to the mall with michael, ashton, and I." luke chuckles nonchalantly, not sensing the seriousness of my current situation.

"no, luke."

"what do you mean, no?" the curious anger filling within luke is now evident in his tone of voice, frightening me to the lengths of what the most dramatic and unpredictable boy could do. "if this has to do with whatever shït is going on with michael, then don't sweat it. I'm sure you all can work it out."

"he thinks I got whitney pregnant."

"nah, she's telling the whole school it's shane's."

"then why hasn't he called me?"

"maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move?" luke shrugs his shoulders, and I shift my car from park to drive.

"I have to go, luke."

"fine," he rolls his eyes, crosses his arms over his chest, and stops his foot against the ground like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. "but I expect a full report on the cheesy make
up you and michael have."

"don't count on it." I mumble, waving goodbye and driving off.

the thing is, I don't know what to do about michael. it's not that I don't want him back, I just want him to be sure he wants me. maybe my distance will make the boy realize that he can't throw our relationship around out of haste, out of his jealousy. him and I wouldn't even be in this situation if he would let me explain myself, if he'd let me make him understand how much I need to have him in my life and not whitney.

I click into the desk area, ignoring the teenage girls flirtatious voice, and head off the singular net available for my own private session. I start by stripping off my sweatpants and welcoming the feel of crisp air against the hairy legs, and then slip on my cleats and head out to the field with ball in hand.

I work on a few different angles, making all of different goals, and then moving on to ball control.

my mind rushes with insights of michael, hitting me with a tidal wave of memories from our one special night together. it stings, and burns my heart to even remember such a precious time in my life, for I know now that he's out of my reach and I could potentially lose him if I don't make a move soon.

Instead of calling him like I should, I subdue my nerves and continue on with the reason I came to my second home; to be prepared for college ball in the fall.

michael may be on my list of priorities, but soccer has always been a dream.

+++

"how was soccer?" my dads voice rings through the house familiarly, a tradition that's always occurred ever since my first practice many years ago.

"just dandy." I reply simply, sauntering off through the house and to my bedroom. the clock on my alarm clock reads 9:49, signaling a time to start preparing for bed.

I simply free myself from my sweat clothes, ignore all the incoming messages on my phone and set my alarm clock for the next day, and drift off to sleep.

+++
these chapters r boring af

y'all think cal's a meanie head 4 choosing socca over mikey??

love you all - meagan