Art [Zarry]

XXXII

Harry
"Dr.Edwards will see you now." The receptionist said to me.

I stood up, clearing my throat and going into the doctors office.

"Mr.Styles?" He asked, standing up from his desk as I entered.

I nodded.

"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Dr.Edwards. Zachary Edwards." He smiled, extending a hand.

I nodded, making myself smile as I shook his hand. "I'm Harry." I informed him.

"Alright Harry, would you like to lay down on the couch, or sit in one of these chairs for our session?" He asked.

I sat in one of the armchairs in front of his desk, folding my hands together and resting them in my lap.

He also sat down, leaning forward onto his desk and looking at me.

"Why are you here?" Dr.Edwards asked.

I swallowed, looking at my knees.

"I need help." I said. "I didn't want to come here, I've been avoiding it for ages. But...I'm worried so....here I am."

"Go on." He said.

"M-My addiction. It controls me and I'm scared it'll make me lose my boyfriend." I made myself say.

"What're you addicted to?"

"Sex."

Dr.Edwards nodded, waiting for me to continue.

"I just...I think about it all the time. I want it all the time. But...my boyfriend doesn't want to have sex all the time. I mean, no normal person would. Only me." I said, my emotions nearing the surface.

"A-And last night I dreamt about having sex with someone else and...it's been driving me mad." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because....it was wrong. I love my boyfriend and I've already messed up once. I can't mess up again with him, I really don't want to. He's all I want." I said.

"Is he?" Dr.Edwards asked.

"Yes. I want him, and I want to stop...wanting sex all the time. If I see an attractive person I want to be able to think of them as a person, not another chance to have sex." I tried to explain.

"All I want is to have a comfortable relationship with my boyfriend, and my cravings for sex are in the way of that. It needs to stop." I said.

"Why do you think you have these cravings? Simply because you're a sex addict, or is there something else?" Dr.Edwards asked.

I paused. "I have them because...I like how it feels. I like the idea of it, all of the different ways there are to do it, all of the different places. I just get a rush, and I love that rush."

"More than you love your boyfriend?" He asked.

"No, of course not." I frowned.

He stared at me.

"I-I mean.....I don't think so." I said, truly thinking about it.

"You said you didn't want to lose him." Dr.Edwards reminded me.

"No. If I lost Zayn I'd...."

"I can't." I eventually said.

"And what if you lost that rush you love? What if you didn't have that addictive feeling you feel every time you think about sex?" He asked.

"I...don't know what I'd do." I said slowly.

"Isn't that what's causing your problem?" He asked.