His

55. Date Day (part one)

"The damn dog got more attention than me at this point."

Justin's POV

*Same Day; Mid Morning & Afternoon*

"Come on let's get food in you. Then we can go out on a date. How does that sound?" I ask, gently brushing the hair out of her face only to see her flinch as I touch her face and neck.

"Yeah. Okay." She says softly, looking up at me timidly.

"Don't be afraid of me baby. I'm so- so sorry. I- I won't hurt you." I whisper, a pang in my chest hitting me hard. I had made her afraid of me. Truly afraid of me. She thought I was going to hurt her again. I had never wanted this. I didn't mean to, I really didn't. I just- I got out of control.

"Baby please. It- it pains me to know that you're afraid of me. I am not going to hurt you. This time- this time will be different, I promise. I can control myself. I- I will baby. I will." I say, my voice breaking slightly as I see her simply shrug off my apologies and promises. She didn't believe in me anymore; she didn't trust me. What had I done? I really fucked up bad this time. I had all but destroyed the best thing in my life.

"Okay, come on love." I finally say, sighing lightly as I guide her back to the table to eat, settling her in my lap.

"I made your favorite baby. Creps with strawberries and whip cream." I say nuzzling her neck gently, hopelessly trying to fill the void between us with something, anything. It was awful. I hated every second of the silence. It only seemed to mock me for what I had done, the silence had never seemed louder.

"Thanks Jay. They're really good." She finally says after a few moments.

"I'm glad you liked them." I say pleased with her reaction.

"So what are we doing today exactly?" She asks a few moments later.

"I thought we could have a nice quiet picnic in the park just us two, then some shopping around town, and then a surprise for later?" I respond over eagerly, more than willing to talk to her, though it comes off more as a question than an answer.

"Okay. Yeah. That sounds really sweet Jay." She finally says giving me a small smile.

"Great!" I say happily, nuzzling her face again and tightening my hold on her waist lightly.

"I've missed you so much." I mumble again, breathing her familiar scent in, letting it fill me up and dominate my senses. She was intoxicating. Like my own personal drug I couldn't ever get enough of.

"I'm going to get ready for the day. I need to take a shower before we leave though." She says, finishing up her breakfast and standing up from the table.

"Oh. Okay baby. I'll wait." I say, feeling a bit rejected at her cold tone.

"I'll try to be fast." She says, touching the rose lightly before turning and walking into our room again, her new puppy as well as Ryan and Chaz following her every foot step.

Sitting back down on the couch, sighing again, I run my hands through my spiky hair again. I didn't like this; I didn't like how she acted at all with me anymore. It used to be so easy and effortless; she used to actually enjoy my presence and my touch. And now she barely looked at me, and I could forget about her ever giving me any affection. That chance was zero to none. At least she still called me Jay right? Her nickname for me; I mean that had to mean something. A term of endearment right? Or was I just fooling myself into thinking things could ever be the same between us again?