His

46. Nightmares

"So this was my life without her."

ustin's POV

"Kiera?" I call out into the dark, fear already starting to creep in. Where was I? What was happening? Wasn't Kiera just by my side? She was just in my arms. I had felt her, she had been with me. I know she had. But where was she now? I needed her.

"Baby?" I call again, fumbling around in the darkness, panic beginning to finally settle in.

Hearing nothing, I frantically turn around, desperately trying to see anything; anything at all. But instead darkness was the only thing that answered me.

"Kiera!?" I scream again, my heart feeling like it was going to burst out of my chest. Why wasn't she answering me, coming to me? Why wasn't she here with me?

Suddenly seeing a bright light, Kiera appears in front of me. Only something was wrong, something was different. And is scared me.

"Kiera!?" I cry, reaching for her desperately, only to have her look straight through me, as if I wasn't really here.

"B-baby?" I stammer out, confusion and hurt sweeping through me. Why wasn't she looking at me? Why wasn't she responding to me? She always responded to me. She always came to me when I called.

Seeing her point somewhere behind me, her mouth opens, a soundless scream leaving her lips. But she could only stare in the distance, the soundless screams and warnings dying on her lips, no matter how much I begged or pleaded or reached for her. I couldn't shake her out of her trance, I couldn't reach her, I could only see the panic and fear in her expression.

And all too soon the scene changed again, the danger she so desperately tried to relay to me but couldn't, rushing at us, fire and smoke swirled around me and Kiera was gone again; fading into the smoke and fire. Being consumed. Just like that. And there was nothing I could do. I was stuck, I couldn't get to her or save her, I couldn't do anything. All I could do was watch the fire consume everything, her eyes full of unsaid accusations and disappointment, disappointment in me and full of pain and hurt that I wasn't saving her, that I was just watching her burn.

"I'm trying baby! I am! I promise! I- I I'm so sorry!" I cry out frantically as I desperately reach for her, trying to do something,anything. But I couldn't, I couldn't save her.

"No!" I scream, a heart wrenching sound coming from my lips as I watch helplessly as the fire consumes her completely, taking her from me. Her expression burning into my memory, a reminder of what I didn't do. And just like that I was left alone in the darkness, regret and pain my only company.

"NO! KIERA!" I scream, lashing out. There was nothing left but darkness. So this was my life without her.

"No, no, no. Please no." I chant to myself over and over as I desperately squeeze my eyes shut hoping that the darkness would suddenly disappear and Kiera would appear again in front of me. I was so dead inside, my senses were all but gone. I couldn't decipher anything, I couldn't feel anything. There was nothing, just the black nothingness that surrounded me. I didn't want to be stuck in the darkness, I wanted this to all go away, I didn't want to be lost again.

"Justin!"

"Kiera!?" I panic, my senses suddenly on high alert. I didn't know how long I had sat there in a ball or how long I cried, it only seemed like it was endless. An endless tidal wave of pain and regret, of loneliness and uncertainty.