BFs: Bestfriend or Boyfriend?

19. Why can't I?

I'm sorry it's been such a long time. Truely. I am. I've had a lot going on, and I have finals this week, so I'm not sure when the next one will be up. Thankyou for all of your support, remember to comment, vote, do what you do <3. Gratzi.

Chapter 19

            I was nervous to go into school today. I didn’t want to face Jack at all. I dreamt last night that there were posters everywhere saying what a psycho I am. I’m hoping it isn’t like that.

            After Drew drove me home from Jacks, I cried for a long time. I wanted to call Tony, to tell him what happened, but it kept going straight to voicemail. I know I didn’t treat him right, and that’s probably my karma for taking advantage of him.

            So I sat alone. For what seemed like hours. My pajamas were on me as soon as I walked in my bedroom door. I hated being alone. It was so quiet, and there was nothing to distract me from what had happened.

            I fell asleep after torturing myself with my memories, which kept getting twisted into an even more horrible fight then it was…I think. I woke up to Drew turning off the T.V. and patting my head goodnight. I didn’t know where my parents were, as I’m sure I’d hear my mother talking about me if she was in the house. But, alas, it was dead silent.

            I kind of wish that my mother had came in. I still had more to say to her. I had year’s worth to say to her. She probably would have hit me, so I thank God now for not letting her come in my house.

            The next day, I had asked Drew where they were, but he just shrugged and said they weren’t at Jack’s when he went back there to get them. The Dimozios had no clue where they were either.

            Sunday night, they came home. My mother had on all black, looking as if she was going to a funeral.

            “Who died?” Drew had asked, pulling his eyebrows together, and trying to suppress a smile.

            “Andrew, death is not a joking matter in this household,” I heard her answer from downstairs. I practically fell over myself, running to my room like a wuss the moment I saw them get out of a taxi. I knew they weren’t staying, because the taxi was waiting outside. “If you must know, I got this attire from the Voglio’s. The ones that Jules’s were yelling about-“

            “Yes, I know who Tony is mom.”

            “Ah, well. We only came back for some of our things.”

            “Where are you staying?” My ear was pressed against the door to hear better.

            “Well, I have work to do. And this guy over here,” I’m assuming my dad, “doesn’t entertain me much. So we’ll stay at a hotel until we can leave again, and LEAVE.” I winced when she yelled. The first dig at me.

            “Where is the little brat?”

            “I don’t know a brat, but if you mean Jules, then she’s out right now. Mom, you know that you started this right?”

            “Hmm.”

            Silence. Then I heard the top stairs being creaked, so I quickly turned off my lights and put my weight against the door. I knew I was going to say something far worse then I already said if she opened the door. How sad my life has been.

            So here I am now. I haven’t resolved anything by hiding in my room. I’ve only talked to Auden and Drew since Friday. I took a deep breath and made my way out the door to hell.

            Everything was normal at first. There were no posters or anything. And no one looked at me more strangely then they have been over the past few weeks.

            I bent down to my locker, looking around curiously at the children. I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, Jack is a nice kid, why would he do something like that? I’m just a worrier. And who knows. He might not even talk to me today. I mean, we’re broken up, I think. I acted like a psycho and he didn’t come after me. I think that pretty much draws the line.

            “Jules, can we talk?” speak of the devil. I looked up to see his sad/worried face on. I don’t need him to break it off with me. I know it’s done. And I think that somehow I’ll survive.

            “Jack, I know what’s next. I’m sorry about ruining dinner and you and your family having to watch me behaves as a hungry animal.  I hope I didn’t freak them out too nice, I thought they were great people…” I rattled on. “But I understand it’s over. It was over when I locked myself in the bathroom, when you didn’t fight for me, or chase after me when I needed someone.”

            “Yeah, it’s been over. Okay, well I’m glad that you see it that way too. I’m sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have invited your parents-they were…”

            “Annoying. I know. Well, I’m glad this isn’t messier then it could’ve been.”

            “Me too,” he smiled at me. “I’ll see you around.” I watched him walk off. He’s changed since this all started. It felt like a story, ending. Everything was wrapping up. I just needed to do one more thing.

            I walked over with confidence to Tony. I didn’t really have a plan. And he doesn’t know what happened. So, I guess I’ll just have to tell him.

            I heard Jeremy’s voice at the center of  their guy friends. “And this guy, THIS GUY. You’ll never believe what he did next. He just took her by the waist, and planted one on her. I mean, we were there for only, like, two seconds. Dude, I give you so much props.” I couldn’t see who Jeremy was referring too.  Not like it mattered much.

            “Stop, you’re making me blush.” My heart stopped. It was Tony’s voice. No, I must’ve heard it wrong. What? Then one of the bulkier guys shifted and I saw Jeremy’s arm around Tony, like he was his prized possession. I forgot how to move, but tears welled up in my eyes anyway.

            I should’ve known this was coming. That he’d find someone else. He wasn’t going to wait around forever. Why didn’t I call him more? I should never have been with Jack. What was wrong with me? The world doesn’t revolve around Jules.

            Just as I found feeling in my feet again, and the tear dropped out of my eye, Tony looked up to find meet my eyes. His eyes got wide, those beautiful blue eyes. He got out off Jeremy’s grip, and took wide strides over to me.

            I turned my head, along with the rest of my body, and walked away. This was humiliating. I lost the one person that I actually want to be with.

            I heard a faint Jules as I turned the corner. But I was too ashamed to show that I let down my guard. He’s moved on. I need to face facts.

            I pushed open the girl’s bathroom and stared at myself in the mirrors. Why am I so stupid? No guy is ever going to wait around forever, chasing a girl, when they’re as hot as Tony. Let’s be realistic. It was just a thing.

            I patted under my eyes when something dawned on me. I could get him back. It could have just been a onetime thing. I mean, I hurt him, it could just be to get the pain away. It’ll be okay. He’s said he’s in love with me before…why can’t he be in love with me again?