Dark Lover

Zass - Part 14

The lips kissing mine were familiar and so were the hands that were holding me close.  I wanted to relax into the kiss, but I wasn't sure about the person above me, how much of him was Mika, how much was Zass and how much was the unknown Mitchell that I hadn't met before.

As the kiss went on, I couldn't help comparing previous kisses with Zass to the man I was kissing now.  And I wondered if I was ever going to see those ice blue eyes again.  Who was going to open their eyes and speak?  Was he more Mika or Zass?  Was the wickedness just an added taste of Mika or was he going to be slightly scary all the time? 

He pulled back and took a breath.  "I can hear you thinking Scotty." He said smirking at me. 

I cautiously asked, "Zass?"

"Yes, silly." He exclaimed, grinning before planting another kiss on my startled mouth.

He hopped off me and sat next to me cross legged, discreetly placing my shirt over his lap.  Then indicated with his head that I should do the same.  "Look at me." He said seriously, once I was seated facing him, making sure I was really paying attention.  "Do I look different?"

"No." I said cautiously.  "Are you supposed to?"

"No, dummy.  I'm still me." He said exasperatedly.  "You need to just listen to me for a moment.  It's usually you doing all the explanations about the weird Supernatural things happening." He chuckled.  "Now it's my turn.  Besides, other enquiring minds want me to tell you." He said tapping his head.

He started laughing when my eyes went wide and I looked just like every other person who finds out the person they love has voices in his head.  "Not Mika Scotty!  Your expression is too funny.  No, you big dope, Daddy." 

"Zeus?" I asked hesitantly then relaxed as he nodded.

"He helped me when I was trapped inside Mika.  I didn't know how to escape.  Only then he told me I didn't need to escape, in fact if I wanted to be the man he knew I could be, that I needed to accept all the sides of me.  Including the things that I always found hard to deal with about myself as a Vampire.  Yes I've killed in the past, and yes I'm more than likely to kill again, you're right about trouble seeming to follow us.  But I don't have that burning thirst to rip every humans head off and bathe in their blood like I did back when Lynx and I were at the height of our reign of terror.  I can even say her name without flinching now.  And I accept that I had to end her.  She was nothing this world needed in it.  Past passion aside, she was never the one who made me think 'forever' in my head.  I guess you've been the one I was waiting for all along for that kind of commitment.  Even my 150 years with Nathaniel seems a blur of fleeting moments compared to the vivid clarity in my memories of my time with you."

All that was reassuring, but where was Mika in the new personality?  Was he really still Zass?

The corner of his mouth tilted up at that question in my head and I realized he could hear me just as clearly as I could hear him when I listened.  I took a deep breath and grabbed my phone.  I shot of a text to Tank and said, 'All good man.'  At least I hoped that was true.

"You're looking at me like you're expecting me to grow an extra head or something Blondie." He said with a wicked grin.

"Mika?" I asked, not wanting to imagine how sad I was going to be if he answered to that name.

I breathed a sigh of relief when he shook his head and held out a hand for me to hold.

"Mika's gone for good Scott." He assured me.  "I'm not going to lie and tell you aspects of him aren't still inside me.  Because that wouldn't fool anyone.  Dad kind of summed it up when he told me that Mika was always me.  Just the less inhibited me.  The part that needed to kick butt and satisfy my more violent tendencies.  He never asked for permission, he just took what he wanted.  He didn't care if he caused pain or death or destruction.  I do care, and I just have a bit more distance between my needs and my impulses.  So, some things I'm going to say and do are going to remind you of the Zass that you've grown to love and then there are some things that I'm going to need at times that are going to make you wonder if Mika's come back to take over.  Neither is the only truth, I'm still Zass and yet Zass grown up a bit too.  Zeus says it's going to make me a better ruler.  The fact that I'm a bit more separate from my emotions will make it easier to make the hard decisions.  Especially when it comes to building a monarchy.  I'm going to have to make certain examples of some of the less cooperative members of the Supernatural community I deal with now."