All I Have Left

Chapter Ninety

The middle of October arrived quicker than I would've liked.

It's the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, and as I dressed myself in a plain black sweater and skirt, my hands shook trying to tug my clothes onto myself. My entire body felt weak from the anxiety that I felt. This was a day I'd been dreading for weeks.

Because today was the day Malfoy and I were going to kill Dumbledore.

Or try to, at least, with the cursed necklace. Truthfully, the reason I was so nervous was because I was incomprehensibly doubtful about this plan. It was not foolproof; something was bound to go wrong, whether it be that either the Imperius curse or Memory charm, the Imperiused student accidentally touching the necklace, or Dumbledore not even getting the necklace and all of this work being for nothing.

I'd shared my worries with Malfoy one night, quietly in the Room of Requirement as we sorted out the finishing touches of the plan. He had sighed, then, and shuffled closer to me in an attempt to reassure me without words.

"It's not like you'll be alone." He had murmured, gaze focused somewhere in the distance in front of him. I had been staring at his side profile, slightly in awe as I'd studied his aristocratic features. "I'll be there, too."

Yes, I think to myself as I slip on my shoes, Malfoy will be there. I won't have to do this alone.

I exit my dorm and hurry down the stairs, scanning the common room for the tall blonde before seeing him lingering by the entrance, Theo talking his ear off as Malfoy stared down at his watch with furrowed brows.

Theo spots me, suddenly, and a mischievous grin splits out across his face. He nudges Malfoy, who turns to him with a scowl, ready to complain, but Theo makes a gesture with his head over to me.

Malfoy's eyes shoot to mine, and I nearly stagger back at the intensity in his stare. His face softens slightly and he strides over to where I stand.

As he approaches, I walk over to him slowly, the trembling in my hands fading. At least he was here. I don't think I could do this alone.

I breathe in through my noise and nod curtly at him in greeting. "Ready to go?"

He winces, then, and runs a pale hand through his silky platinum locks. He looks apprehensive, and his irises reflect a tentative glint that has me growing scared.

"What is it?" I ask, shakily.

He sighs and looks down at me. "I can't go."

I take a moment to register his words, before blinking and stepping back. "What?"

"I have detention with McGonagall." He says furiously, pinching his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I didn't turn in my Transfiguration homework, and she prohibited me from going to Hogsmeade."

"So, what?" I ask quietly, sending a wary glance to Theo over Malfoy's shoulder. In the middle of us talking, Blaise had joined Theo at the door, leaning against the stone wall leisurely as they made idle chatter. I turn back to Malfoy. "When are we going to do it, then?"

"Well..." Malfoy starts, licking his lips as he refuses to meet my eye. "I actually— you're going to have to go through with it today. Without me."

I'm silent for a moment before exclaiming, "What?!"

He shushes me, eyes darting all over the common room. "Be quiet! Someone could overhear you."

"I can't do this alone." I whisper furiously at him, my hands beginning to tremble once more at my side. "I can't, Malfoy."