All I Have Left

Chapter Eighty Two

The next few weeks were all about O.W.L.'s. The teachers reviewed for us and, the last week before the O.W.L.'s, the teachers had stopped giving us homework, and instead resulted to reviewing what they assume will be on the exams.

Blaise and I spent all of our waking hours together studying and revising in the library when we didn't have classes, but Blaise was definitely less extreme than me, even being that he was very dedicated to getting top scores.

I spent all of my waking hours in the library, which meant all the time. I wasn't getting any sleep, which I knew wasn't healthy, and I only ate when I was studying in the dormitory, where Daphne would come and drop off food and plead for me to come out. 

It was a problem, but I felt helpless in all other categories, so divulging myself into O.W.L.'s and schoolwork was the only thing I could think to do. Besides, these exams did give me the pathway for my future. If I got the O.W.L.'s I needed, I could become an Auror. My dream would come true and I could be useful, I could help people.

The bags under my eyes were very noticeable, and I barely had enough time and energy to put on makeup, but it wasn't like I wanted to put any on anyways. I wore my Slytherin robes all day on the days I had classes and wore a jumper and sweatpants whenever I didn't have any classes. My hair could usually be spotted in a bun on the top of my head, neat on the days of classes and messy any other time, not having time to actually put effort into styling my hair.

My nails were chipped and their was barely any polish on them, but the nails were long and I had to make a mental note to cut them. My lips were very chapped and, out of bad habit, I had picked all of the flesh from my lips, which I seem to do all the time when I study. It was becoming very common and Daphne had taken it upon herself to smack my hand away from my lips whenever she caught me.

But today was the day before O.W.L.'s started, and I was internally screaming. Everyone in their fifth and seventh year were panicking, in fact, and were scrambling to get some last-minute studying in before the major exams started the next day.

I was in my bed, curtains drawn closed and my beds and parchment from revising were scattered everywhere, me scanning my notes and books, my pale colored wand in a tight grasp from my fingers, me practicing the spells that would be on the Charms practical tomorrow. Or, the spells I hoped would be on the practical tomorrow.

Pansy was also in her bed, whining as she read her books and complained about not understanding the material, saying that this is not something we should be learning about in a school. She had her glasses on, but still had difficulty reading, resulting in reading aloud to try and understand the books better, much to my annoyance.

Daphne was sitting silently in her bed, reviewing her books and notes as well, however her wand was on her bedside table and she was instead taking more notes as she read the books to herself. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she still managed to look flawless, even under all the stress.

Millicent, however, looked unbothered; she had one book open in front of her, wrappers from candy and cups from beverages she downed all over her bed, her shoving some chocolate into her face at the moment as she briefly scanned over the book, rolling her eyes before shutting it and closing her curtains, the shadow spotted shoving some more food down her throat.

I could tell that Blaise was probably in his dorm studying or in the library, probably going through the same routine as me. He had been as nervous as I during all of our studying, and at one point he had a breakdown and started rambling about how he couldn't do it, which seemed to be his breaking point. 

I wondered what would be mine, but that wasn't my concern for now. 

My concern was to make sure I was prepared for the Charms exam the next day, the written and practical one.