The Fallen Goddess...PJO

Chapter 17

Armani pov

When I was a goddess, I never worried about losing my loved ones because they were all immortal. Death wasn't something I experienced or felt. I had never grieved; it just wasn't an emotion I had explored before, or as there was never a reason. I lost my mother, but I never knew her, so It was hard to grieve for someone I didn't know.

I guess, I knew that going on these quests meant that death was inevitable. That's why I joined because I was trying to prevent Percy's death. I knew they were going to be deaths. That's why I refused to get close to or care for someone on this quest.

Death is supposed to be normal. I died. Bianca died...

But it didn't feel right. It happened so quickly–she was taken away from us too quickly.

It hurt a lot and I didn't know why. I wasn't that close to Bianca. Yes, we had conversations, and we were on the same quest, but I didn't know her. I didn't know her birthday, her favorite color, her favorite food... we didn't really know each other. How could I be upset over the death of someone I barely even knew?

My thoughts were interrupted as we managed to find an old tow truck that looked like it had been discarded. Surprisingly, the engine started, and it had a full tank of gas. Odd, but we decided to 'borrow' it.

The car ride was silent. Thalia ended up driving since Zoe, Grover and Percy were still reeling in their grief over Bianca. And I didn't know how to drive. I mean, I'm still 14. I would like to think it was like driving a chariot, but I don't think now is the time to test that theory.

Zoe and Thalia sat inside the car, while Percy, Grover and I sat in the trunk on a makeshift bed leaning on the car's sides. Grover and Percy had been silent the whole car ride, and I couldn't help but worry. Bianca's death has taken a heavy toll on them. Grover had tears in his eyes, sniffing every few seconds while looking into the distance. Percy was still, and his eyes were toneless, all the color was drained out of them, filled with nothing. I watched as he clenched his fingers around the little figurine; it had cost Bianca her life. It was hard to decipher what god it was supposed to be, but Nico would know.

Oh, gods... Nico. What were we going to tell him? That sweet little kid lost his sister twice, but this time it was more permanent. I had already seen how it affected him when she joined the hunters, but now she was gone.

"It should've been me," Percy whispered, looking up into the sky.

"What?" I asked, confused about where he was going with this.

"I should've gone into the giant," he said, staring at the sky with such a blank expression, it scared me. I was the one out of the two of us who hid their emotions. Percy was more expressive than me. He was the one who would be easier to read. We both relied on each other's methods of expressing emotions. Him looking all lifeless. It didn't sit right with me. It wasn't right.

"D-don't say that!" Grover exclaimed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing and neither could I. "it's bad enough Annabeth is gone, and now Bianca. Do you think I could stand it if..." He sniffled. "Do you think anybody else would be my best friend?"

"Oh Grover," I muttered, under my breath, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

Percy's eyes softened, almost guiltily, "Grover."

Grover gently removed my hands from his and wiped his eyes with an oily cloth that left his face grimy. "I'm... I'm okay."

But he clearly wasn't. Only a fool would believe he was okay. Ever since the pan encounter in New Mexico, he seemed to have gotten really fragile, even more emotional than usual. It was like a simple word could make him bawl his eyes out.