Perspective

Part 35

I honestly have so much going on these days. I be wanting to write but i seem to be tired. Today was a long ass day. but as you may know by now, Sunday's are the busy days for work world. Alsooo can we talk about how i definitely have been promoted officially finally. Like it honestly didn't take too long. I think they were just trying to get the store in order in the upper manager part. Alison was also promoted to full time. Which she already is to be honest, but they needed to make that official. I guess that's kind of how it works there. Most of the time people show that they are basically worthy of the official promotions and then it happens you know. I mean i started as part time and now I'm legit a LSA that wild. I'm so proud of myself. I thought about it a bit ago too. I mean i really have come a long way and I'm not the same person i was even a year ago let alone 2.5 years ago. It is wild how much a person can change in time. you would say that 2.5 years is a long time but also not a lot of time at all. I don't know but it's a cool concept. I posted on a employee Aldi group on FB and i got a lot of feedback. I posted a photo of when i first started, a photo of the schedule that says "Lead associate" under my name and a photo of me with my new manager polo. Old coworkers have commented on it and congratulated me, and some random people commented on my weight loss too which was nice. But i was honestly a little shocked to see a comment from Todd. I'm pretty sure i talked about his goofy ass before, but he said some rude shit about how he was "sad" that I'm a lead now, and all this shit about how i used to be, and to a certain extant he's not wrong. But it got me thinking about how shitty i used to be and how i am so different. But he doesn't deserve to be around me the way that i am now. I mean he sucks and is a fucking weird freak that honestly was the worst. So for the most part i would treat him like shit intentionally. I mean, he literally got fired for sextual harassment so like...what he says is irrelevant. Go me though. You could also tell that man was like drunk or something because the words and sentences he used kind of didn't make sense to a certain degree. He's a idiot dude. 

I had a therapy appointment the other day. I always feel so good when i leave there to be honest. Like seriously. It makes me so happy. I can really get some good incite on things i struggle with. This time i mostly talked about my weight and eating problems. I really have been struggling with it for a while. She told me that when i eat when i don't need to she wants me to try to think about what i am feeling in the time of me wanting food. And i am starting to think that when i get overwhelmed i want to eat. Because since I've had that conversation with her io do start to think first of all, am i hungry. as in have i eaten to where i have enough in my belly I don't actually need food. And then if i have decided that I've had enough protein, and food that i need now crappy food i crave, i will start to think about what i am feeling. For the most part when i do feel its like when there's a lot to do and i over think a bit about it all and my mind goes to snacks. I will legit just start thinking about the food that's around the store that sounds sooo good. Or i also like to eat when I'm bored. Just another way to occupy myself. I do like when chewing gum. I talked about that with her and she said that makes sense just simply because of the action of chewing. I mean there was one day someone had popped open a package of garlic bread and we have to donate or throw stuff away like that. And it was perfectly fine and i was just so overwhelmed with the thought of wanting to eat it but i didn't want to actually eat it...so i like went about taking big bites, chewing it and then spitting it in the trash. I had swallowed a few bites, but for the most part it really was just garlic bread chew. That's weird and i know it. But i really do struggle with the idea and thought of eating. So the gum chewing is nice to me because it like i have something to chew and the taste will stop me from wanting to eat other things too. It's weird. And I'm weird, but I'm dealing with it and trying to stop it. Now i think  when I'm trying to acknowledge what I'm feeling in the eating moods, i think that occupies my brain in a different way. It kind of puts the food thoughts at bay for a bit. I'll drink some water or a drink and i seem fine. I also have been trying to eat a bit before work. I never used to do that. Just because i don't LOVE eating when i wake up, or like that early. But I'm hoping i can get used to it because i think it helps with putting the food thoughts at bay for a long while too. 

Today was St. Patrick's day by the way, in case you live under a rock. Although, by the time i publish this it will be passed 12 so technically the day after but whatever. I would have written sooner tonight but not only where we at the store for a long fucking time, but also when i got home i cooked a little bit. We didn't leave the store till after 10. That's not great, but at the same time we did over 60k. It was so damn busy. Being as it is St. Patties i of course wore some green and i had to bring my 4 leaf clover in my pocket along with some other stones that represent the holiday. But i loved the shirt i wore. So short story, but Friday night i was at work and it was like after close and we where trying to get stuff together, and i got a call. It was papaw. I answered it like awe papaw you know. And he told me that he had a birthday gift for me, but i could use it this weekend so he wanted to give it to me now. And i was like uhh ok, birthdays not till June. But he came by my place when i got off work and he gave it to me. It was a Shrek shirt that says," Green Dude With An Attitude" with a picture of Shrek lookin angry. I must say i love that this shirt reminded papaw so much of me he had to get it. I cut the collar and sleeves off and the bottom part i made strips at the bottom, it's so cute. I don't really like t-shirts, but I love it. If you know anything about me, you must know Shrek is one of my all time favorite film series. And as a child i was always my favorite. And papaw does know that over everything. I love my papaw. He was so excited too. That was cute.

Being as it was so much at work today, they had a bunch of people up in there, and we had this new person too helping . I guess not new, but it has been like 2 or 3 times they have worked at the store with us. But they are really cool and a good worker. The only thing i could critique for them is that they pushed the milk trays back into the cooler instead of taking them to the sink in the back and rinsing them. But i also do know that other stores they don't do that. I learned that a while back and i was baffled. Like why would you just leave some nasty ass milk sitting in trays and let it smell up your back room. Gross. But they/them is their pronoun right, but their name is Gira. That's a unique name too. But that bitch April was being super rude about the gender situation. And not to mention she was being really rude about even their name. Like they were 2nd ringer and April needed them to come and open up. But then that bitch not only kept saying He, which i do know some people struggle with that. But then she was like trying to say their name and it almost seemed intentional that she would mispronounce their name. She's an asshole to be honest. Always has been. My thing it, i think that her pea brain is just to simple to take in information like that. Some people are just like that you know. It's sad. And wild because how can you be so disrespectful. We all picked up on that too, that she was doing that. Allison even corrected her and said "THEY" and April goofy ass legit said, "NO HE!" like bitch... are you stupid or rude or dumb or all. I don't know but i think April needs to be the next to go because for the most part she kind of sucks. 

I honestly am so tired i think I'm going to be a few hundred words off this chapter. It's already 1:30 and I'm exhausted. I legit felt my feet getting sore as fuck when i was running the scrubber. I'm sure i did over 10k steps today. If it wasn't for the physical activity of work i would have never been able to keep up with the weight loss i have been dealt with. So i can't be too mad. I almost want to write more, but also like...i need to lie down. I'm going to write tomorrow honestly. I'm not going to get into a routine of it, but i do want to pick it back up. I kind of think that this one was a bit boring but like whatever, shit i wanted to get off my chest. My head is starting to hurt too...ugh.  I noticed when I'd do this it just lets out some stuff i have kept in. Good night world. Sleep well