Perspective

Part 13

i wanted to start writing early in the day today before i go to work. Why? I couldn't tell ya. But it's been such a long weekend. Like each day was wild. Like our store does on a regular day 35-40k in sales. Yesterday we did a little over 60k, Saturday was like 57k i think Friday was like 56k. So just a poppin weekend. 

Uhm side note, my laptop is acting funny because i type simply too fast and i move too fast for it. I legit was typing that first part and then i hit the wrong few buttons some how and it legit took me to a whole other page. And when i came back to this it was erased and i was like what the fuck? Then Wattpad being the GOAT that it is had saved that first part up there and like it said "oh there's another a version of this part would you like to go to it" or something and i was like fuck yeah. So here we are. 

Any who, I'm a little frustrated right now with Nai. So for the longest time i have paid for his and Tones premium Spotify. But like the thing is, Sanai doesn't even talk to me. Because his girlfriend doesn't want him to. And if he does reach out to me its through tone. Like a 3rd party. Tone claims he doesn't mind being the middle man, but like it's a little degrading and he doesn't really get that. And the fact that Nai still presumes I'm going to pay for it even though the only time he contacts me is if he wants something. Literally he even had my card on his Xbox and made multiple purchases in the same day once and I'm not made of money you know. And i think they think because i work all the time i just have unlimited money. That's not how things work. They are still young so like I'm not going to hold that against them, but like it just makes me feel used and feel like unwanted by him because he allowed his girlfriend to take control of his life and make someone like me, who has been around since he was in diapers, just push me out. And that hurts my feelings. And he knows that. But i had gotten the notification one day that his Spotify was going to expire...and i kind of had the thought to allow it to expire. I was curious as to what would happen if i did. And yesterday i had gotten a text, 3rd party, from tone saying literally, "yo chloe you gotta pay for sanais premium bc he doesn't have it anymore". I kind of looked at that message and was trying to think of a response...then i just chose not to respond because honestly i was at work like ALL day and i was busy and that was the least of my priorities. And i had thought about telling him to have Nai text me himself if he really wanted it or something when i got home from work last night but i really didn't think it even deserved that response. So this morning i seen a text from Nai. Actually it was a random number because i legit don't even have his number because he had not texted me since his girlfriend told him not to.  He said that he would like his premium, then i got a text literally just now and he said these booty ads bruh. But like...i have a few words I've gathered to send to him, but like I'm waiting till he's not at school. Because i know he is right now and i have a feeling that what i have to say to him is going to cause him to be distracted and possibly upset. I love him, and I'm proud of what he's done with himself this far in his young life. But i just don't feel comfortable paying for a MONTHLY  subscription for a person who doesn't feel the need to reach out to me on a regular basis only for when he wants something. Now there was a time in when i told them two that whenever they want something to ask me, but at that time i wasn't mentally prepared for that kind of comment. Like that's asking for a lot for people who aren't my children. I don't know. It's a hard situation. I'm going to shower and finish laundry before work. i guess ill be back later today to finish and we'll see what happens with him after in give him my peace. 

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So sent the throughly thought out message i wanted to say to him. I waited until he got out of school at least because i knew if i sent it he would get upset and i didn't want him focused on any but school you know. But like...he hasn't replied yet. Its been all night. And i don't think he's going otm reply. If he does to be honest i'm not sure what he would say. But i feel good that i said what i've wanted to say for a while to him. I'm wondering what he's thinking right now. And i also wonder if he even read the whole thing, it was rather lengthy. I don't know. I hope that he will realize what's been done and come to his senses eventually. But until then i guess he's not ready for a real conversation about this.