Redamancy

23

Too many questions roaming in her head.

Soobin was trapped inside a bubble that was full of confusion, curiosity, and anger. Maybe she shouldn't have felt that but it also was something she couldn't deny she was having.

Even sleep couldn't rid those feelings, and reality couldn't even be a distraction. She would rather live with those than shift her attention to something more important.

And it was an eyesore for the onlooker inside the house.

She had been staring into space as soon as she woke up, overthinking her life that seemed to have no end. Hadn't one of the maids come to check on her, she probably was still in bed and late for the morning class.

As she came down for breakfast and chose to be seated at the kitchen counter where she and Sunwoo were once arranging the daisies, she found it even harder to focus. The food was untouched.

"They are right." A voice from the kitchen entrance snapped her to reality, a middle-aged lady staring down at her. "The helper told me that you look like a living corpse."

Soobin trailed the movement of her stepmother to the sink across from her, washing her hands. The girl unknowingly sighed which didn't go unnoticed by the lady.

"I keep thinking about what you've told me."

Her stepmother pondered as she leaned against the sink, watching the girl do the same with her head.

"Which one?" The lady asked.

"About a girl should be strong."

"Oh..." Pursing her lips, Mrs. Bae nodded. She wouldn't lie that she felt proud for having to contribute just a little thing to someone's life. "What about that?"

At that, Soobin came to the state where she would stare into the space. "I've been doing that. I've been taking care of myself but..."

The pause before she trailed off somehow made her stepmother curious, anticipating something. They rarely had this kind of girl's talk and having Soobin wanted to talk about it a bit had piqued the lady's interest.

The last time they talked like this was after the horrible breakup of Soobin. And it was unintentional.

Noticing how she would lock herself up in her room and cry herself every single time, the whole household was in a mess. Her father was sickly worried that she shut him off and Jacob whose room was next to the girl would hear her cry every night and couldn't stand the situation anymore.

And that was when the mother took the spotlight, granted Chae Soobin a turning point to become heartless and anti-romantic.

"But?" After so long being engulfed in silence, Mrs. Bae challenged.

Soobin flinched.

"There is this one guy who is always in the scene. I'm thankful for his help and existence but I don't feel great about it."

"Why?"

"Because... he's younger than me? It should be the opposite right? I should've protected him instead of him protecting me. Right?"

Mrs. Bae unknowingly was holding her breath. She was amazed by Soobin's mindset, it screamed maturity but she seemed to disagree.

"Soobin..." She supported her weight against the kitchen counter and looked straight into the girl's eyes. "Sometimes, you don't have to be strong all the time. Yes, I told you that a girl should stand on her own feet so that she won't burden any man for the simplest thing. But, girls are also fragile."

The furious blinks of the girl made the mother chuckle. She, indeed was brilliant in anything else but relationship.

"If a boy wants to protect you, you should receive it with an open heart. You can't endure every hardship in your life. That's why boys existed," the mother smirked, proud of herself for coming up with such good words. "I wouldn't marry your father if I could handle everything."