Frank the plank (S1 E2)

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I was at the Gallagher's and Ian said "Burgers coming through". Fi looked at Lip and said "Lip get some napkins". Karen looked at him and said "I can get it". Lip shook his head and said "No, no, no sit". I rolled my eyes and said "Yeah make yourself at home". Steve looked around and said "Only ketchup".

Debbie raised her hand and said "Oh me". He then said "Cheese". I looked at him and said "That would me mine". "Extra onions, jalapenos". V walked in and said "Me, thank you make room, who's this". I looked at her and said "That's Karen". V looked at her and said "Hey Karen, nice top, what size are you".

Fi hit her shoulder and said "Shh, shut up". Frank then walked in with a bloody face and Steve said "Woah, you okay Frank". Ian was walking over to him and said "Hey, is that my shirt". He looked at him and said "Yeah". He walked closer to Ian and head butted him making me help Ian up and said "Frank, what the fuck was that for".

He looked at me and said "Guy at the bar told me to pass it on". I looked at him and said "Ian's your fucking son, not your whatever else you think he is you dickhead". Steve ran over to him and said "What the fuck is wrong with you". Fiona sighed and said "Jesus Christ dad". I put my hand on Ian's shoulder and said "Are you alright, Ian, Debs get us a napkin".  

She came back with a napkin and I made Ian lean forwards and held the napkin while saying "You're okay Ian, Frank's just being a big bitch". Steve walked up to Frank and said "You're drunk, Frank, drunk". Frank looked at him and said "This is drunk?". Fi looked at Steve and said "Steve don't".

I nodded my head and said "Don't fight this big bitch Steve, he's not worth it". Steve looked at Frank and said "Don't do this to your kids". He looked at Steve and said "You think you, a tough guy, Steve, you think you're a fucking tough guy". I sighed and shouted "CAN YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I DRAG ONE OF YOU OUT BY YOUR EARS".

Frank looked at him and said "You looked like a premenstrual Filipino". I gave the napkin to Ian and said "Right have had a-fucking-nough of this Steve get your ass out of this house before I loose my fucking shit". I grabbed his arm and lead him to the door and said "I know this isn't you and its Frank but we need you out as it isn't making this easier for us".

He nodded and said "Y/n, don't worry, I get it, and I understand". He left and Fiona grabbed my shoulder and said "Thanks Y/n". I nodded and walked over to Ian and said "No problem Fi, you okay Ian, I think he needs ice". Frank looked at me and said "Come on Y/n, its only a bloody nose, he's not dyin".

I scoffed and said "Oh just shut your fucking mouth Frank, before I drag you out of the house too". He looked around and said "Does anyone realise that I'm bleeding". I nodded and said "Oh, we're fully aware, but we just don't fucking care". Everyone started to crowd around Ian making him say "Thanks for helping Y/n, but I've got this".

He walked away as Lip and I later went up to check on him. Lip looked at him and said "You should've hit him back". He looked at us and said "If I ever do it, I'll fucking kill him". I looked at him and said "Well, it'd be one less problem for us". Lip looked at him and said "So, eight to ten for manslaughter, get laid as often as you want".

I looked at him and said "That would be a dream for you now wouldn't it, with tattoos and everything". Ian looked at us and said "Its gay heaven, man". Ian sat down and Lip made us all a smoke and lit them. I walked into the bar with Kev and said "What the fuck is Billy doing, sleeping in the fucking bar".

He sighed and said "I don't even know, make him a drink will ya". I sighed and said "Right okay then". I placed his drink down as Kev flicked him and said "Morning Billy". After the short shift at the bar V, Ian and I went to steal some groceries. She looked at us and said "Go on quick". She smiled as she went to distract Conrad and we crossed.

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