A shameless story (US)

Aunt Ginger (S1 E3)

I was walking home after a late night shift at the Alibi and saw Mandy Milkovich crying. I looked at her and said "Who the fuck made you cry because I'll go fucking kill the little bitch". She fell into my arms and said "Y/n, I don't even want to talk about it". I pulled her into a hug and said "Well I just know that if your brothers find them, I sure do pray for their life".

She let out a little smirk making me say "Alright, lets get you home and I'll see you later on okay". The next morning I walked into the Gallagher's house and said "Fucking hell, why is it colder in here than it is outside". Fiona shrugged and said "I'm trying to figure that one out". There was a knock on the door making Fi shout "Can someone get the door".

Carl was running with a bat making me swiftly grab it and said "Carl as much as I'm sure you need to protect yourselves from the dickheads in school, Fi said no to taking it to school". Fi looked at me and said "Well at least someone listens to me here, plus I don't need anymore notes from his teacher".    

I looked at her and said "I'll get the door then". I answered it to see Steve making me say "Fiona doesn't want you here, so I suggest that you leave". He looked at me and said "I'm here for Ian". I looked at him and said "Don't tell me your befriending him just to win Fi back". He looked at me and said "Is that what I'm doing".

I shrugged and said "Well with what you were saying to Lip and I the other day, you just might be". Kev then walked in and said "Where is my damn toaster". I looked at him and said "Aw, is Kev sad because he cant toast his toast". He looked at me and said "Well, who in the right mind borrows a toaster".

I looked at him and said "This household because the Gallagher's aren't that normal, ever had that conclusion in your head". Kev then walked into the kitchen and saw Carl burning figurines with the toaster and said "Destructo, that's my toaster". Carl looked at us and said "I'm trying to make melted man".

I looked at him and said "Who the fuck is melted man". Kev looked at him and said "And while you're making melted man, use a blow torch instead like a normal kid". I looked at him and said "Who the fuck lets kids play with a blow torch". Kev looked at Fi and said "Hey Fi, some flower delivery guy was looking for your address".

She looked at them and said "They're from him toss em". Steve shook his head and said "No they're not". Debbie came in and said "Yes, four bars, thank you, Beaver327". Lip looked at Steve and said "Back for more abuse, your like a boomerang". I looked at Lip and said "He never wants to leave, its a shame the reason why he's here doesn't want him here".

Steve looked at me and said "Yeah, no, I lost a bet to Ian on a game, need to see what ticket he wants". Fiona was filling a bowl up while saying "And we live in the 1700s where telephones haven't been invented yet so of course you couldn't of just called". Steve looked at her and said "Not when I knew you were dying to see me".

Ian walked in and over to Steve while saying "Yo, got my tickets". He nodded and said "Yeah, what game, Philly on the 12th or Edmonton on the 27th". Ian looked at him and said "Uh the Oilers definitely". Kev pointed and said "A good choice, the flyers are fags". Fi looked at us and said "God damn it the gas bill is late".

I looked at her and said "Well that explains why its cold and by the way the flowers were from a Tony saying about a night he'll never forget, we'll good on him". Steve looked at us and said "Who the fuck's Tony". I looked at him and said "You don't know Tony, how do you not know Tony the fucking cop". 

Kev looked at her and said "You hooked up with Tony, how charitable of you". Steve looked at me and said "Wait that Tony". Fiona nodded and said "Yeah, and we had a really good time". I plugged my nose and said "Steve I can smell the jealousy surrounding ya". Fiona looked at him and said "Tony's sweet and has a real job".