A shameless story (US)

Killer Carl (S1 E6)

I walked into the Gallagher house and said "Electrocuting dolls again Carl". Debbie looked at him and said "I thought Fiona told you to stop electrocuting dolls". Carl looked at us and said "They have to pay for their sins". I sighed and said "That's a bit dark". I could hear groaning upstairs making me mutter "Wow Fi and Steve is really getting at it".

The electricity then went out making Fi shout "Damn it, Carl". Carl then shouted back "Its not me, Hectors at the pole again". Fi then came downstairs and said "Oh Y/n your here". I nodded and said "Yes, sounded like you had a good morning today". She shook her head and said "Just help me out with this, okay?".

I looked at her and said "Right then". The Gallagher's that was in the house and I walked walked over to him and Fi said "Hey Hector, is there anyway you coul-". He looked at us and said "I can't this time, 3rd red notice this year, I'm sorry". Debbie looked at him and said "Not the first time we got shut off, won't be the last".

He looked at us and said "Scrape the money together today?". I looked at him and said "She has it, just forgot to pay it". Fi nodded and said "I took an extra shift yesterday and I spaced out". He have her a letter and said "Call my cell when you pay, I'll swing back at the end of the day". She looked at him and said "Thanks Hector".

He walked away making me look at Fi and said "I'd say we handled that pretty well". Later I was still in the Gallagher's house and someone was knocking on the door making me say "Debs can you answer the door". Debbie was walking through and said "Okay Y/n im coming". She answered the door making me say "Who is it".

She looked at me and said "Its Warren". I stood up and said "Who the fucks Warren". She looked at me and said "Someone for Lip". He nodded and said "Is Lip upstairs". I nodded and said "Yeah, beware though can be quite a dump". We then went into the kitchen where Fi said "Carl, eat don't organise, okay, after you eat 'em they all end up in the same place, who was at the door".

Debbie looked at her and said "Warren for Lip". I nodded and said "Weird kid if you ask me". Fi then turned around and said "Don't worry about the ketchup just the milk and the meat so it wont spoil". I nodded and said "It'd be a shame to spoil and fucking expensive". Steve then came in and said "Enough hot water for at least one hot shower".

I looked at him and said "Surprised you didn't use all the hot fucking water for the amount of time you was in there". Steve shook his head at me and then said "Did Carl blow up the neighbourhood again". Fi looked at him and said "No, I forgot to pay the bill". I put my hand on her shoulder and said "Don't worry about it, it happens to the best of us, plus you have a lot on".

Steve nodded and said "Exactly". Fi looked at us and said "Not to me, I'm not normally like this". I looked at her and said "Well like I said, you have a lot on". Steve looked at her and said "Well what are you distracted by". She looked at him and said "Well your the only new thing in the mix".

I sighed and said "Wow you really must be in love, Jesus fucking Christ". He looked at her and said "Wait, am I actually distracting Fiona Gallagher, really?". I sighed and said "Don't start fucking in front of me, hearing it is bad enough". Then Steve said "Right let me just do the coffee run".

Fi then looked at us and said "Right guys its time for you all to get to school, LIP FEET ON THE FLOOR". I looked at Fi and said "I think Liam needs to go to the toilet". She picked Liam up and said "Oh, Liam, we gotta get you to the potty, we can take some of the money we spend on diapers and we can buy you candy and cars".

 I looked at her and said "Sorry to break it to you Fi but I'm sure he needs diapers". Carl looked at us and said "Ah, the rewards for shitting, the good old days". Steve looked at her and said "Here let me help". Fi stood up and said "Okay cool, when Liam starts holding his breath and squinting, put him on this".