A shameless story (US)

The American dream (S3 E2)

I woke up and walked out as Fi was in a towel and Lip grabbed hold of me pulling me into the bedroom with Ian and Carl following as Fi said "Oh! what's going on". I nodded and said "Yeah, Lip you nearly took me the fuck out". Lip sighed and said "Sorry, but Frank's drunk and looking for a bed".

I scoffed and said "Shit, again". Fi sighed and said "Who the hell let him in". Lip made me help him move the small shelf and said "Debbie". Then Ian said "We tried to stop her". I sighed and said "Well he's not hot-bunking in our fucking bed". Carl looked at us and said "Why cant he sleep on the porch".

I nodded and said "Now, that's an idea". Frank then shouted "I want my old bed back". I sighed and muttered "Tough tits". Fi then shouted "Oh, hell no". Frank came up the stairs and said "This is my house". Debbie looked at him and said "Its okay Daddy, you can sleep in my room". Lip sighed and said "Wouldn't do it Debs, he's especially ripe this morning".

Carl face screwed up and said "Frank smells like dog piss". I shrugged and said "Probably is dog piss, wouldn't surprise me". Frank looked at me and said "I'll have you know Adams, its not dog piss". I nodded and said "Okay Frank, you keep telling yourself that". He looked at me and said "Gary, the homeless guy".

I slowly nodded and said "So, homeless guy piss, not any better Frank". Debbie then looked at him and said "Come on Daddy". We then followed them and Carl said "Hey, that's my tent". She looked at him and said "I'll hose it off when he wakes up". Lip sighed and said "Debs, don't let Frank in here anymore".

I nodded and said "Please, just don't". She looked at us and said "This is his home too". Ian sighed and said "He disappeared for months". Her voice got louder as she said "And he's back now, excuse". We then went downstairs while Lip and I was feeding Liam. Fi gave Ian, Debbie and Carl some money and said "Milk money".

Jimmy looked at Fi and said "Breakfast". She looked at him and said "You wash your hands after you pooped". He looked at her and said "What are you my mother now". Carl looked up and said "You're supposed to wash your hands after we poop". I scoffed and said "Of course you are Carl, its basic hygiene".

I smacked Lip's ass and said "So anyways you going to school today". He shook his head and said "Gotta skip my first periods so I can clock community service hours". I nodded and said "Okay, then". Lip then went to the dishwasher and said "Adding the last 50 bucks to the property tax, yo, that should bring us right around where we need to be". 

I sighed and said "Hopefully". Fi then looked at him and said "I didn't put in the waste money from that last toxic-waste gig I had yet". Lip looked at her and said "Okay, that's cool, hand it over and I'll drop it off before community service, pay the tax man". Fi sighed and said "I don't have it".

I looked at her and said "What don't you have". She sighed and said "The money, I used it to put down a deposit on a club night". Jimmy then said "Alright, Debs, Carl, lets go, school time". Debbie looked at him and said "Gotta bring Daddy his breakfast first". Lip sighed and said "The property tax, that's already two weeks late".

Fi shrugged and said "We're always two weeks late, I'll have the money right after the party". Lip looked at her and said "It wasn't yours to spend". Fi nodded and said "Yes, it was, I earned it". I sighed and said "I could always, put some money in to help out". Lip shook his head and said "No, that's your money".

I shrugged and said "I don't mind". Fi looked at me and said "Its okay Y/n". Ian then walked in and Lip said "Ian, since Fiona used her money for herself, what are you gonna buy, a new leather jacket, Liam?". Fi looked at him and said "I had an opportunity to make some real money here, Lip".

He shrugged and said "Its not that easy". She looked at him and said "I've been in the club business a long time". He scoffed and said "Oh yeah, slinging cocktails, okay, look you don't know shit about promoting a club party". She scoffed back and said "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Lip".