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Simple Pleasures (S4 E1)

I walked downstairs with Carl as I said "You should start using the toilet without pissing on the balcony and showing Mrs Babiak your junk". He looked at me and said "Just because your boyfriend is away and not able to show you his junk doesn't mean you should go at me, plus Mrs Babiak had my 18th birthday circled on her calendar".

Fi sighed and said "Just use the toilet like a normal human being". I nodded and said "There's gonna be one day I walk out of this fucking house and Carl pisses on me". He looked at us and said "Can I have Lip's old room". Fi shook her head and said "No". He looked at us and said "But he's at College".

I shrugged and said "He'll be back eventually, I can tell you that much kid especially for summer and the holidays". He sighed and said "Oh you're gonna be so happy for then aren't you". I shrugged and said "Yeah, you have a problem with that". Debbie then came down as Fi said "Oh, are you going clubbing".

Debbie handed me Liam as she said "Hanging out with Holly". Carl looked at her and said "You two gonna work the corner". She scoffed and said "Shut up, zit-head". He looked at her and said "At least I got zits, no pubes girl". I looked at them and said "Okay, you two shut the fuck up, wait Debs are those my heels".

She nodded and said "Well, its not like they fit you anyways". I sighed and said "Well, that is true". Fi looked at Debbie and said "Yeah, but don't you think you're a little overdressed for Sunday morning at Holly's". She looked at us and said "Its not like we're going to church". I chuckled and said "You'll need it after hanging out with her".

Fi looked at me and said "You still okay to watch Liam today". I nodded and said "Of course I am, and Debs you should be thankful I'm taking him or you would be". She sighed and said "Thanks Y/n". Sheila then walked in and said "Woah, big yellow icy spot on the sidewalk, I almost dropped the dip, Spike must've chewed through the fence again".

I walked over to Carl and whispered "You're lucky she thinks your piss was from a fucking dog". Then she said "My world's famous artichoke-jalapeno dip, Eddie loved it, he used to spread it on his waffles". I smiled and said "That's great, I think". Carl looked at us and whispered "What is she doing here again".

Fi shrugged and whispered "I don't care, our laundry's clean". Then I said "Come on Liam, lets go to the park for a bit". Fi smiled and said "Have fun you two". I nodded and said "See you later, Gallaghers". When I came back with Liam I put him in the crib when Carl yelled "Y/n someone's at the door".

I opened the door to see Tony with Frank over his shoulder as I said "What the fuck's up with him". He looked at me and said "We found him in a drug house". I looked at him and said "Just bring him upstairs, I'll sort him". Tony put him down on Ian's bed and said "Where is everyone". Carl shrugged and said "Out".

Tony then turned to me and said "Well okay, good luck". I looked at Carl and said "Alright, I'll get his arms, you get his legs". We then got him up and I said "Oh fuck me, how does he get himself into this shit". When him into the tub I said "Fucking finally". Carl gagged and said "Something just jumped off him".

I shrugged and said "Probably a bug, wouldn't surprise me". When we had given Frank a bath turning the water a murky brown Carl said "Should we give him another bath". I sighed and said "We've already gave him three we're running out of soap". Later Frank was somewhat clean when Fiona came in and said "Carl said you'd be up here with Frank".

I shrugged and said "Tony brought him back and he was out like a light, I've tried to wake him up since he's been back but he's out cold, so I told Carl to distract himself he shouldn't have to see his dad like this". Fi scoffed and said "Great, now he's on needles". I nodded and said "Yup, looks like it".

She looked at me and said "I'm gonna call Kev, he's gonna help me find a bench and we're gonna dump him". I sighed and said "Carl isn't gonna be too happy about that, Fi". Carl then ran in and said "No, I can take care of him". I shrugged and said "Told you". She sighed and said "Fine but he's your puppy, he makes a mess on the rug you clean it up".

Later after hearing the news I was cuddled with V on the couch. She looked at me and said "You're missing Lip, I can tell". I sighed and said "How do you know that". She chuckled and said "I know because you're being really clingy". I looked at her and said "How do you know that I'm missing Lip, maybe I just want to be clingy with my favourite person in the world".

She smiled and said "Thanks Y/n, but you and I both know that Lip is your favourite person in the world". I chuckled and said "Okay maybe there, you are possibly 100% right". Then Kev walked in and said "I'm not sure, but I think Debbie's sitting out front in a car". I sighed and said "Don't make me laugh, none of her friends are old enough to drive a car, they're all 13".

He looked at me and said "Its some dude". I looked at him and said "What the fuck do you mean some dude". He shrugged and said "Just some dude". I stood up and walked up to the door and said "Debbie get your ass in this house now please". She looked at me and said "Give me a second Y/n".

I sighed and said "Okay one, right ass in house now". She sighed and walked in as the boy in the car said "I guess this looks bad". I put my middle finger up to him and said "Just fuck off". When we walked in V said "Hey Debs". I cuddled up to V and said "Fucking teenagers am I right or am I right".

She looked at me and said "You and Lip was quite similar at her age". I sighed and said "Remind me to never have kids with Lip then, if they will turn out like that, fuck no". Kev shrugged and said "Knowing how you and Lip are, you'll probably accidently have a child". I put my hand on my chest and chuckled as I said "Wow, you really think that, thanks Kev".