A shameless story (US)

Survival of the fittest (S3 E12)

Lip and I walked upstairs as Debbie said "Quit it out". Lip took the water gun off Carl as I picked Liam up and said "Why are you using a water gun inside". Carl looked at us and said "Because I don't have a paintball gun". Lip sighed and said "Actually that err, kinda makes sense". I nodded and said "Maybe but next time, use it outside".

Carl followed us and said "I need a paintball gun, when we move to Michigan". We went downstairs as Lip said "Uh no". I shrugged and said "Besides, its not decided if you're moving to Michigan". Lip looked at me and said "You wouldn't be coming". I shook my head and said "I've got too much here".

Carl shrugged and said "You guys do know that Hell Survivors Paintball Field is five miles outside Ann Arbor". I sighed and said "You know what I'll say it, you're not moving to Michigan". He looked at me and said "Why not?". Debbie looked at us and said "Fiona said we was". I nodded and said "Exactly, was".

Lip sighed as he said "And that was when Jimmy was here, has anyone seen him, exactly". Debbie looked at us and said "Did Fiona and Jimmy break up". I shrugged and said "Fuck do I know". Lip sighed and said "Fiona barks at us any time we bring it up". Debbie looked at us and said "But I picked a fight with Becky because I thought I was never gonna see her again".

I made a drink as I said "I'm sorry to break it to you, Debs". Fi then walked down and said "Sorry to break what". Lip looked at her and said "Is that a new look for work". She looked at him and said "If I was working the corner yeah, but since I'm doing data entry, I better put this on". I sighed and said "Collecting data on the street corner, HIV data".

Fi sighed as she turned to Lip and said "Big day today, Lip". He shrugged and said "Yeah, whatever". Fi shook her head and said "No its not whatever, the first Gallagher kid getting his diploma". I kissed his cheek and said "I'm proud of you, its a big deal, Lip". Lip smiled and said "I'm not the only one, so are you".

I looked at him and said "But I'm going straight into work". He kissed me and said "Still, you're getting a diploma too". Carl smirked at Lip and said "Who did you two buy it from". Fi looked at him and said "They're getting it fair and square, setting a good example, pay attention". He looked at us and said "You have to go to some ceremony".

I shook my head and said "Nope, just picking the diploma up from Guidance place and getting the fuck out of there". Fi nodded and said "Ceremony's in the fall, they'll walk with everyone in the spring". Lip shook his head and said "No, they wont". Fi sighed and said "Yes, they will, and we'll all be there to yell 'Lip and Y/n' to embarrass them".

I leaned onto Lip's shoulder and sarcastically said "Wow, soooo exciting". Ian then came down and said "Morning". Debbie looked at him and said "Wow Ian, looking sharp". He smiled at her and  said "Thanks". Lip sighed and said "What, you got ROTC on the last day before Christmas break".

He nodded and said "Yeah, they're having some sort of winter ceremony, later guys". I sighed and said "Bye Ian, catch you later". Then Lip the stood up and said "Finish your breakfasts guys, and no more talking about Michigan". He walked out as I sighed and said "And I guess that leaves me with you guys".

A few minutes later Debbie came over to me as I said "Are you ready for school". She nodded and said "Yeah, plus its only a half day, then I'm gonna stop by at Sheila's as Jody and Karen are moving". I sighed and said "Oh shit, that's today isn't it fuck". She then looked at me and said "Do you think Jimmy will buy me braces once he's finished med-school".

I sighed and said "If I'm being brutally honest no, I don't think he will". I was in the Alibi when Lip walked in and said "Can I get a shot baby". I shrugged and said "I might be able to get one for you, on the house". He smiled and said "My girl you're a saviour". I nodded and said "Tell me something I don't fucking know".

Frank looked at him and said "I know what you're thinking, you can tap that you know". Lip sighed and said "I am tapping it". I nodded and said "Did you forget, Frank". Frank sighed and said "Shit, yeah maybe I did". I looked at him and said "Besides I thought you was in jail". He looked at me and said "Got out on a technicality".

Lip sighed and said "Why did you take the rap for Carl". He looked at him and said "Because that's what family does, have I taught you nothing". I handed Lip his drink and said "I believe this is yours". He smiled and said "Thanks my girl congrats to us both". Frank looked at us and said "Congratulations to what".

I looked at him and said "Your son and I got a diploma". He turned to us and said "Why didn't you two say something, Y/n get your ass here so I can give you both a hug". I came from behind the bar as Frank had his arms around us and I said "Well this feels quite unusual". He looked at us and said "We need to celebrate, attention denizens of this dump".

Tommy looked at him and said "Frank? are you okay". He nodded and said "Better than ever, because my progeny and his girlfriend has joined the ranks of the graduated". Everyone cheered as a elderly woman came up to me and said "Congratulations to you and your boyfriend, dear". I nodded and said "Thank you, Ruth".

Then Frank said "So this makes official something we've long known, that these two lovebirds are head and shoulder above all you shitbirds". Then Tommy said "Seriously Frank, you look like crap, even for you". He looked at him and said "You're one to talk Tommy, you're one bucket KFC extra crispy away from giving precious a run for her money".

Tommy stood up to him and said "You know I got a fucking thyroid condition". I sighed and to Lip I muttered "This is where hell tries to break loose". Later Lip rung me saying something was up with Frank so I came with Lip to keep him company. There was a knock on the door as I said "Seems like you have a visitor Frank, come in".

As Fi walked in Frank said "Hey, I'm glad you're here, try to get me some more of these pudding cups". Then we heard Lip shout "No, don't mention food". Fi then looked at Lip and said "Oh Jesus, Lip really, it smells like a distillery in there". I nodded and said "Yeah, he's been in there since we got here".

Lip looked at her and said "I was celebrating our graduation". Fi scoffed and said "Getting drunk in the middle of the day with him, are you a idiot". I shrugged and "I've literally just got off my shift at the Alibi and they walked off out drinking". Lip looked at Fi and I as he pointed his finger at me said "Can we save the mommy lecture for tomorrow and I'll have a conversation with my real mommy".

I looked at him and said "You refer to me as that again I'll cut your fucking dick off with a dart". Fi looked at him and said "Y/n get him up, sober him up, we are doing a surprise for you two". Lip sighed and said "It isn't a surprise, I already knew about it". She looked at us and said "Debbie and Carl are waiting in the lobby so take them with you".

I nodded and said "Yeah, I'll make sure they all get home fine". Lip looked at me and said "This isn't gonna be fun". I sighed and said "Get your ass up and I'll take everyone home". Fi nodded and said "Grab both of you surprise ice-cream cakes out of the freezer and starts defrosting it". Lip sighed and said "Okay then".

Frank chuckled and said "Three raw eggs, Worcestershire and sliver of ginger, works every time". I nodded and said "I'll make sure he gets that down him". I walked through the door and Lip came downstairs as all the Gallaghers said "Surprise". Lip wrapped me up into a hug as I said "Wow, holy fuck".

Lip looked at Fi and said "What is Sheila doing here". Everyone hugged us as I sarcastically said "Wow, guys this surprise party was such a surprise". Lip and I then blew out our candles together and V said "Wow guys, you two could practically educate our baby". I wrapped her into a hug and said "I love you V, but I wouldn't go that far, but the child in proper education".