Ones Ignored

Chapter 13 | "Some friend you got there"

I wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and a matching heart. I place a hand on my stomach and roll over until my face is buried in my pillow. I broke up with the guy I loved for three full years. Thruthfully, I still love him. But I'm not going back to him, I won't. It's final and my heart knows that it is.

My chest physically aches as I start to cry hard. Since my face is in a pillow, I let it all out. One of the reasons I was never over Blake was because of the fact that I never cried about it. No matter how hard it was, I would let him go. I had to. That would be the only way I would gain peace in my life.

Wasting away my teenager years chasing after a guy who told me in full yesterday that he doesn't chase is not worth it.

I repeat that in my head over and over again as I head into my bathroom and shower. The sentence runs through my mind continuously as I brace myself to take a cold shower. I let the cold water go through my hair and it feels good after a while. I want to throw up the contents in my stomach, but other than that, I am fresh after my shower.

I place a tshirt in my hair and put on a pair of long sleeve lounge wear and head downstairs. I'm repeating the phrase as I head into the kitchen for some hot water. I saw online that if you drink boiled hot water before eating anything else it helps with your immune system and I have been doing it since. I put a mug of water in the microwave and when I turn back, my dad is standing in front of me.

"Dad", I say and he nods at me. I know I should be more mature and about this, but I couldn't get myself to say something to him. My dad breaks the silence and says,"I met someone a few weeks ago."

My jaw slacks just an inch and I clam in shut. My dad was allowed to see other women but I didn't think it would be this soon. Only it's not even that soon. It has been more than three years since my mom left my dad and I.  "How is she?", I ask him, taking a seat at a chair by the counter. He smiles—  slow and broad one that tells me that he really likes her.

"I met her at my job", he says,"She's a very pretty woman with curls like yours. She was helping me with something when I asked her out."

I pick at the hem of my shirt,"Have you been seeing her long?"

My dad laughs,"No your old man was scared and only asked her out yesterday."

"Oh", I say and my dad looks up at my face. "Did you think I'd see her without talking to you about it before?"

"Well", I say and then look away from him when I share,"I caught you with a few women earlier years."

"Oh", my dad says and he looks away from me as well. Well, that was awkward. He looks back at me though and says,"Those were just, well, hookups. Um. That's another conversation. But anyway, what I was getting at was that I am willing to share my life with you. Share yours."

"You mean why I got drunk last night?", I ask him and he nods. I take a deep breath in and say,"You remember the guy from the other day?"

"Mister I'm-too-cool-to-say-hi-to-your-dad?", my dad says as a joke.

"I'm glad that's the part you are most concerned about", I joke back at him and we share a laugh for a moment. Once our laughter subsides I say,"Well he and I were in a relationship where we saw other people."

"Confusing for a teenaged relationship", my dad comments and I nod.

"Well on his part. I never saw other guy. That's my point. Yesterday I saw him with my best friend—"

"Woah", my dad says and I suddenly get shy. What would my dad think of how pathetic his daughter is? "That wasn't the first. But then it had me thinking, if he could hang out with her for a few weeks straight, then why not me? Why couldn't he choose me?"