{𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚞𝚗 - 𝙼𝙸𝙽𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙶}

55: Way Too Much

[Felix]

I paced around the living room restlessly.

I'd been dreading this day for so long, yet I knew it would have to happen so things could be cleared up.

All morning, I'd felt so distanced from the world, distracted by everything inside me.

I was trying to ready myself for seeing Changbin again, but it was just so difficult to see this going anywhere else than bad.

I felt ashamed of my feelings, I still wished they weren't there, but I couldn't keep them in anymore and Changbin deserved to know.

Losing Changbin might absolutely crush me, but having to lie to him for any longer felt impossible.

Yet the more hours of the day that ticked away, the more nervous I felt.

I knew Chris had definitely noticed, and as he walked in on me pacing around, it didn't take long before I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me.

"Lix, you look so out of it.. I get worried about you when you're like this. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Take your mind off things until they're here?"

I didn't know what to tell him, really.

He was being so sweet, but like he'd said, I was completely out of it right now.

However, I did know what I wanted to do, so I snuggled into him, laying my head on his shoulder.

"This.." I mumbled, my hands feeling up his back to calm down, Chris' arms tightening around me.

"Okay baby, I'll hold you. Do you want me to talk to you or do you want it quiet?"

"You, um.. can talk, I.. I don't mind.."

I felt Chris press a kiss to my temple. "Are you.. going to be okay when they come? They said they were gonna be here in five minutes, so I thought I had to come check on you. I'm also nervous, but I know you have a lot more on your shoulders than I do.."

"Um.. I.. hope I'll be okay. I'm scared t-that I might just break down into tears when I see Changbin-hyung again.."

Chris nodded softly. "I'd understand why. And I know Changbin would too, so if you do have to cry, don't keep it in. This is not going to be easy to talk about, but it's important."

"Yeah, but, um.. hyung?"

"Mhm?"

"Can you please, uh.. stay by my side? I need someone to k-keep me stable through it all.."

Chris gave me another little squeeze.

"Of course. I'll always stay by your side, Lix. I love you so much.."

I whispered out an 'I love you too', but just as I was about to pick my head back up to kiss my fiancé, the doorbell rang.

Chris smiled softly at me, slipping his hand into mine.

"Hold onto me, let's go open for them."

And even though I definitely didn't feel ready to face the two, I let Chris guide me towards the entrance so we could open the door together.

I felt like I couldn't breathe where I stood, the door moving in slow motion as Chris pulled it open to reveal the two men behind it.

"Hi." Chris started, motioning for them to come inside.

I was still too overwhelmed though, so I just bowed my head awkwardly and took a couple steps backwards once they'd entered our house.

"How are you?" The man beside me continued, wearing a careful smile.