{𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚞𝚗 - 𝙼𝙸𝙽𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙶}

45: Close Again

[Felix]

I let out a soft sigh where I sat in bed, I'd just been on the phone with Changbin because I wanted to ask him if he wanted to come over today, but he'd told me he was spending the evening with Yongtae so he couldn't make it.

Me and Chris had just gotten home from our visit to Australia, and although Christmas was still in the air, I was no longer feeling the holiday spirit after leaving my home country.

My eyes drifted around the room, looking for answers as I wasn't sure how to handle the emotions inside me.

Even after all this time, it still broke my heart.

Of course I respected that they chose to spend a lot of time with their partner, and I was extremely happy for them as I knew they'd wanted to be in a relationship for a long time, but it was just so hard to deal with the change that it had brought to my life.

I felt like I barely even saw him anymore now that they were living together, and when I did, I couldn't kiss him and I even felt hesitant to hug him or touch him at all.

Even if I knew that Changbin being in a relationship might mean the end of the agreement, I hadn't been prepared for how it would feel.

And as I thought about how much I missed her, I teared up, salty liquid soon rolling down my cheeks.

I laid my phone on the bed, grabbing a pillow to hug it as I cried into it.

Things felt pretty damn sad right now.

I'd become so used to having Changbin there, and now that he wasn't, I didn't know what to do.

Of course I loved Chris so much, he was the love of my life, but it just felt so different now that I had to put all my affection on him and I was worried it would get too much for him.

Even if he'd never expressed that he felt I was being too clingy or seeking too much affection, I didn't know how he would feel after a while.

He might grow tired of kissing me all the time, or he might be annoyed that I'm always asking to cuddle him, and I was worried that might make our relationship unstable.

But as I sat there, crying out all my worries into the pillow, I didn't notice that my fiancé had entered the room.

He sat down next to me, and I tried to silence myself as I felt the bed dip beside me.

"Lix, what's going on? Why are you crying, baby?" Chris asked in a soft tone, helping me replace the pillow in my arms with his body.

I hugged him tightly, wrapping both arms and legs around him, never wanting to let go.

This man brought me such an immense amount of comfort, and even if I was still upset and down, he always managed to make it feel a little better.

So I tried to remind myself that I had an amazing fiancé, even if I might not have the third part to our relationship anymore.

"I-I just miss Changbin-hyung.." I sniffled, feeling Chris peck my forehead gently.

He petted my back, rocking me a little in his lap. "I miss them too.. I take it they couldn't come here today, then?"

I nodded. "Mhm.. I-I just— need to be honest with you f-for a second though, Chris.."

My hands came to rest at his sides, sitting up a bit so I could look into his eyes. "I'm not handling it well, the.. change. And— it's not like you're not enough, because you're more than enough for me, I just.. feel like it's so unusual that we don't.. have Changbin anymore, I guess."