{𝙼𝚢 𝚂𝚞𝚗 - 𝙼𝙸𝙽𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙶}

43: A New Perspective

[Hyunjin]

"Hey, you did not just call me a sex freak. I'm a sex enthusiast, don't cheapen it." I side eyed the man next to me, making him giggle.

"Okay, sex enthusiast. Then.. enlighten me, what is it that's so great about sex with no strings attached?" He asked, looking at me with soft eyes, I could tell he was trying to understand my point of view.

I crossed my arms as if I was going to have to defend myself, but I couldn't help a little smile from fighting its way onto my face.

"Well, Kim Namu, the reason it's so great is because you get all of the pleasure with none of the pain or heartbreak. And.. it's not like I'm averse to the idea of being in a committed relationship, I just.. feel like I end up getting hurt every time. Also, I.. think I'm kind of scared to date men. But I love having sex with men." I shared, even though this was technically a date and you weren't supposed to talk about this stuff with someone as early as the fourth date, it was just so easy to open up to him.

Kim Namu felt like a very different person to most of the men I had been on dates with or ever been involved with.

He felt like a friend, but at the same time I was so damn attracted to him despite his lack of interest in sex.

I don't think I'd ever gone on four dates with anyone without ending up in a bed with them, and especially not with a man this hot.

He had such a pretty face and a pair of juicy lips which I'd secretly been yearning to taste, but he hadn't wanted to go anywhere further than a peck yet.

I respected that, and I would never pressure him into going further than he was comfortable with, but it was getting hard for me to stay on the Namu path and not stray off through the bushes to find some other man for a quick fuck.

But every time the urge crept up on me, I told myself that I would regret it if I fucked up the nice thing that I had going with Namu.

Of course, seeing as we weren't anywhere near official or serious I could obviously have sex with others without having to tell Namu, but it just didn't feel right at the moment and I wanted to spend my time getting to know him instead of fucking others.

He had originally not been what I was looking for at all, but now, it felt like he was everything I was looking for.

Although he was pretty much the opposite of me, I'd found myself enjoying his company on every one of our dates, no matter what we did.

He'd managed to remind me that I didn't need sex or alcohol to have fun, and although we had drank together, it hadn't been nearly as much as I was used to having when around others.

There wasn't any pressure with him, he was a very relaxed person, and it made me in turn feel like my life was less of a mess of rushing back and forth between motels and staying up so late that I didn't have time to sleep before work.

It was safe to say that he was good for me, and even though I didn't know him that well, I was excited to getting to know him more.

"Hyunjin, do you think that you.. could still be a little bit in denial of the fact that you're attracted to men romantically and not just sexually? I know you mentioned that you haven't been on dates with many men even though you've been in a relationship with one, so I thought maybe you might not be entirely comfortable with that part of your identity yet.." Namu suggested, fidgeting with his fingers, seeming timid about his suggestion.

"I.. didn't even think that was something I could be feeling. Cuz like— I'm not ashamed of sleeping with men, but.. I guess I haven't ever fully felt comfortable being open about dating them. Damn, are you like— a psychologist or something? You're way too good at getting me to open up about shit that's way too deep for only having known me for like two weeks." I rambled, flustered that he'd hit the nail on the head like that.