My life in the Cirque du Freak

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I stopped my attack and turned a lamp on. I wasn't at all happy to see the person in front of me! "What the fudge are you doing here!?" I yelled furiously. Evra looked at me like he'd hope this would've gone better and then had the nerve to try and hug me! I pushed him away and stood out of his reach. "What are you doing here?" I repeated through clenched teeth. He looked hurt, but honestly I didn't care. "Liv, just listen--" "No!" I interrupted. "No, you don't get to tell me to listen. Or call me Liv. You lost that right the day you even thought about leaving!" I yelled. "I had to!" He yelled right back. "I couldn't take not being heard anymore Scarlett!" My eyes filled with angry tears and I started hitting him again. "You. Selfish. Stupid. Reptile!" I yelled between hits. "Stop!" He said, trying to catch my arms. "Why are you so mad!? I'm back now!" He yelled. I stopped and stared at him. "Really? Really? You think that just because you're back that makes it ok? That everything will go back to the way it was?" "Well... No. But I'm sorry Liv!" "Don't call me that! And don't you dare tell me you're sorry! You left me because of some dream that you didn't even know would come true! You chose your hobby over your family!" I yelled louder and louder at him. "I SAID I WAS SORRY!" He yelled as loudly as I did. "I don't care!" I yelled back. When he spoke again it was soft, desperate. "Please L- Scarlett. I'm so sorry for leaving! I didn't want to, I had to! I had to see if I could make it!" He said, desperately wanting me to understand. "Evra, I don't care about your reason for leaving! I don't care that you're back! What did you expect when you came back? Huh?" I asked. He shrugged and shook his head. "Not this." He replied. I laughed harshly and crossed my arms. "Did you think that you'd surprise me and we'd go back to what we were before? I'd run into your arms and cry out of joy instead of pain and anger?" "Pain?" He asked. I sighed and grabbed my hair. "Do you know how badly you hurt me?" I started to yell again. "I didn't sleep or eat or drink for days Evra! I barely left the tent! And once I'm finally over you, you come back all happy and hoping for a big reunion? Well that's not what you're getting!" He had tears on his face now. "I... I'm sorry." He said again. "No amount of apologizing is going to fix what I did. But it's true. I'm sorry for hurting you, and for thinking you'd actually forgive me. And I'm sorry for not telling you and-" "That's probably what hurt me the most." I said. "Not you leaving for a year, but the fact that you couldn't even tell me. We were together minutes before you left!" I exclaimed. "It hurt! And I still wonder why you didn't tell me! I could've helped you win over Mr. Tall somehow or tried to draw bigger crowds for you or even tracked down every open Mic night I could find! That's what I would've done had you asked me to! I would've gone through every possible option to try and help you get your music out! But no. You'd rather lie about being okay with it and then write me a letter than to ask for help!" "I know I should've told you!" He said. "But I... I didn't want to lose the guts to do it! To actually try and get beyond here!" He continued. "But when someone actually did find me, I started to feel guilty about not having you there for most of the songs you'd helped me write. I lost the guts to go through with it." He explained. I nodded and grabbed my blanket and pillow off the ground. "Well, those guts aren't the only thing you've lost." I said without looking at him. I walked out of the tent, ignoring him as he yelled for me. I went to Mr. Crepsley's tent and crawled into the spare coffin. "Evra is home?" He asked. I glared at him and lay down into the soft cushioning. "I'm not even talking about it. Goodnight." I snapped. Then sighed and rolled back over to face him. "I'm sorry. I'm just mad at him. I'll talk to you in the morning alright?" "That is fine. Goodnight Scarlett." He said. I rolled over again. "Goodnight Mr. Crepsley." It was 2 a.m. so I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.