Miroh: Maze of lies and love

For the worst

Looks like last night was interesting, can't believe Jeongin caught me off guard and attacked Chan no less. He really is getting on my last fucking nerve. Seungmin better pick up the pace a little, brother or not he needs to die.

"Hey sleepy." Chan said. "Mhmm, morning." I replied. It was early morning, and we were still lying in bed, I really didn't want to get up and it was a gloomy morning. Hearing the thunder in the distance and the rain beginning to hit the windows was soothing. "What's on the agenda today?" asked Chan. "No clue, in all honesty I don't feel like doing shit." I replied. "Well, I do need to go back to my place, there's a few things there that I think might help us. There's papers and files and stuff." "Let me guess, you want me to go with you?" "Might be fun." Chan smirked.

His place was the last place I really wanted to go, after everything that's happened especially at the park just down the road. Not to mention Felix's house is just across the street, but if anything from what Minho told me last Felix might just be back in the hospital.

I guess there's one way to find out.

"Rise and shine!" Minho burst through the door. "Okay don't knock." I rolled my eyes. "Looks like fun. I knew you two were fucking, you got the whole boss employee thing going on." I watched Chan throw a pillow at Minho and I threw the clock from the nightstand at him. "Rude." Minho groaned. "Get your asses up though for real, you two go to Chan's and I'll keep an eye on Seungmin boy who apparently has a date with Jeongin later."

Minho then left and I rolled over to face Chan who was just looking at me. Pulling me for a kiss and letting it linger before he pulled away, we both got up and headed towards the shower. Yes, we are both going to shower, and it will be hot as fuck.

"For some reason I'm getting real Deja vu." I said stepping out of the car. I was standing just outside his house, and it was exactly like the first time I came here and even the damn weather is the fucking same. "Come on Jinnie, there's lots to go through." Chan chuckled.

I started to take a step when I heard a car pull up across the street and as it stopped, I wanted nothing more than to just disappear so fast, but my body wouldn't move. I knew before the car door even opened; I could already hear the annoying laugh of a certain squirrel no doubt trying his best to cheer up his best friend. Other voices were laced with worry which I assumed were his parents and last but not least the tired voice that was deep and accented.

It seemed like forever since I last saw him or even heard his voice, but I know it really hasn't been that long. Maybe a couple days or week but in my book, it seemed like a lifetime.

Jisung was helping Felix get in a... wheelchair, he looked so weak and paler than before. HIs parents were grabbing his things and going up to open the front door. I looked up at the sky as I had felt the rain try to start up again but when I brought my eyes back down, they immediately were stuck in place. Let it be the rain because if I said I was crying right now I wouldn't even believe myself, I felt the tears start to form when those soft brown eyes stared at me. I was wrong, he looked worse.

I noticed Jisung about to turn him around when Felix placed his hand on Jisung's and said something which caused him to look over at me. I was literally frozen in place and our eyes were locked onto each other; it was like the first time I saw him only this time I barely recognize my little ghost.

"Hey what are-" Chan started to say. "Fuck, Jinnie." I felt his hand on my shoulder but even then, I wanted I couldn't move yet. 

I am supposed to be this rich spoiled brat who's a Mafia leader and kills people for a living, you would think I wouldn't give two shits about anyone or anything including some boy that is as close to death as can be right now. Not even my previous killing spree can hype me up, even thinking about going off and finding the lowest of the lowlife criminals and gunning them down doesn't sound appealing to me.

In this moment all I want to do is run over there and smother him in kisses and hug him until he begs me to stop. I know though that if I even thought of doing so would only make things worse, so with one last look I turned around and followed Chan inside not looking back.

Once inside I just let myself fall apart, not even caring if Chan was there.

He embraced me with all his warmth but this time I didn't feel the comfort I was so used to. My mind went blank and my whole body was just numb. Minho was right, I just can't bring myself to fix things even before it gets too late.

Felix is by far better off without me, but is it wrong to think that I secretly hope fate will find a way for us? No matter how many times I say I need to forget about him and move on?