SKYSCRAPER

SUN RAI PLAYLIST

JENNIE

She stood up and got out of the room.

I just cried on bed, letting all out. All the guilt, the shame, the unanswered questions in my head, and the fact that I am hurting Lisa again. The doubt if I really did something wrong and the memory of my mistakes in the past that led Lisa to think that I am cheating on her consumed me.

I was too much. I was the toxic one in the relationship before. But never I dared cheating on her. Never.

I am trying to process what had just happened in my head. I am scared that she will totally leave me now.

I was lying flat on bed, wiping my tears as I heard the door knob clicked.

She came back right away.
My heart raced. I'm afraid that she'll tell me we're done.

What's done, Jennie? You and Lisa haven't yet started something really officially again.

She lay down beside me. Brushed her nose on my neck up to my face. I turned to look at her in the eyes and held her jaw. She held me closer and our bodies didn't know distance anymore.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have raised ny voice. I should've comforted you because of what happened at the restaurant. I'm sorry for hurting you, Jennie. I'm really sorry for disrespecting you a while ago."

The Lisa that she is. The ideal one.

I embraced her more and kissed her lips. She didn't stop apologizing.

"Enough. You have the right to get mad, my love. I am sorry too for raising my voice and not controlling my temper before. Maybe I deserve what happened to us earlier because of what I did in the past." I said while wiping my tears.

"No. You don't deserve what happened there. I am sorry you had to experience that. I am sorry if I also didn't show you goodness tonight. I regret speaking bad towards you." She kissed my forehead. She grips my dress at the back like she doesn't want me to go somewhere.

"I'm okay now that you are here by my side. How can I make you feel fine? How can I let that worry vanish? Lisa, I will never cheat on you. And I am trying my best right now to win back your trust and your heart. I believe I have been showing you that I am way better than before." I said.

"Yes. I can feel that. I see everything and I am so proud of you that you are better now especially for yourself. Let me take you out to dinner as what we originally planned tonight. Do you still want to go out or just stay here at home?" She asked.

"Let's just stay here. Let's prepare our food downstairs." But we didn't lead our way down to the kitchen right away.

I showered her with my love through my kisses and affirmation.

Weeks passed and we're back to normal again.

That night, I was supposed to ask her about our status. We don't even have a label.

But I am so afraid to open it up to her when we're together. What if I'll lose her after that question? Or what if her answers will break me into pieces?

"So, you never asked her? Why are you settling on this, Jennie? What's the purpose of you and Lisa living together?" Rosé asked.

She invited me to have a wine night with her. I don't drink anymore. I have my juice and steak tonight.

"I love her, Rosé." I simply said.

"And that's why less is okay with you? Ugh! Where's that Jennie Kim who gets what she wants before? Well, Lisa is all you ever wanted and I guess this is it." She said.