SKYSCRAPER

WHEN THE UNIVERSE KNOWS

JENNIE

For five days now that I am already out of rehab, I feel so human! I feel so happy that I get to take care of Lisa and Aki now. Lisa and I have been so busy with my requirements for film shool. She even accompanied me and paid for my enrolment fees. She bought everything I need from cameras and a lot more. We did a lot of errands together and purchased some things for our house, she did let me choose.

She also transferred a huge amount of money to my account when we visited the bank the other day. She said it's for my allowances and everything I need at home and school. She never failed to support Aki. We enrolled him in swimming and art class. He also wanted to learn fencing but Lisa did not agree about that yet since he is still so young. Our son has seen a lot on the internet and came up with his interest on that kind of sport.

How am I?
I know you might be wondering.

Well, I can say that somehow, I have changed. I am still learning to deal with my thoughts. Graduating from the rehab doesn't mean I am totally healed. I still have to help myself each day and let the situation tell if I'm all good.

All I want now is to be the best mother to Aki. And the partner Lisa deserves.

Hmmm. Maybe I am just daydreaming. Maybe I am just hopeful that eventually we'll be together again romantically. For good.

I know our actions confuse people, but we just let ourselves act naturally. Like we just trust what our body and mind tell us to do whenever we're together.

What I love the most about Lisa is how much she respects me in every way. But I know that she is still hesitant to commit to me again.

But I won't give up. As long as she wants me in her life, I'll stay.

I did not treat her right before. And what I know now is how to make her feel that I am willing to wait for her and let her take all the time she needs. Who am I to insist what I want when all I did was hurt her?

The guilt is still there. But Lisa knows how to really handle our situation. Sometimes, it makes me think of asking her for another chance. But my brain rules my tongue not to. I don't want to lose her.

I admit, I am afraid of waking up each day and hearing from her that we're just living in one house now and she's treating me like I am still her wife just for Aki. That would hurt me. I also do not want her to force herself and ignore the happiness she deserves.

"Are you ready?" I heard her from the door while I am almost done with my makeup.

"Yes." I said and stood up.

She was dumbfounded looking at me from head to toe. And she's very much of a dapper too tonight! Wow!

"Jen, I guess you will always be the most beautiful girl in my eyes ." She said while walking on her way to me.

"I want to kiss you right now." That's all I said. Oh god! I was too honest. I couldn't control my feelings towards her. She really looks so good right now!

And all I felt is her nose brushing on my cheek. The tip's heading to the side of my lips.

"You always smell so good. I have been trying hard to resist. You're tempting me." She whispers and I could feel the air on my lips from her mouth.

"No one's stopping you. We can either go now to your event or just lay here and make love. Choose." I said.

We've been too flirty. Touching each other here and there. Swear to god we are trying our best to fight the urge.