SKYSCRAPER

A LIFETIME OF

"I am happy that both of you are here now. You know, if this won't work, I am proposing another option. At least we tried. And I guess, after this, that would be the last step." There's something in Winona that is too eager to reunite the two.

"Tells us now what we should do and what the day is going to be about." Jennie in her uninterested manner.

Lisa is like a little kid at the corner just listening to her wife and the counselor.

"We've never done this before. All we tackled about was how much you want to end your relationship. Listen to me carefully. You can cry all you want or scream inside this office. As much as possible, do not force yourselves to keep anything you feel inside. Just like as if I am not around. Just the two of you. Ready?" Ms. Hale didn't expect to reach this point. Her initial assessment is far from what is happening right now.

Jennie and Lisa just nodded and stayed quiet. Obviously, the tension inside the room is all over their skin and mind.

"Jennie, be honest. Please be honest. What are the reasons why you want to end your marriage with Lisa?" Breathing souls could feel how nervous Winona was while asking the woman in front of her.

Jennie looked at Hale straight in the eyes. She then took a deep breath. Did not even care taking a quick glance at Lisa.

While Lisa is shaking. Sweating. So afraid of what she might hear.

The latter part of their marriage was full of screams and dims inside their home. But this one's different. She would only hear the voice of the love of her life inside a quiet and strange room with thumping tension and nerve breakers. No hot kettle. No crying baby. No audio from the television. No barking dogs. Just these two walls of the room that would echo their voices.

"I hate how her energy affects my day. I don't like how soft she has always been romantically. She's becoming weak everyday. I mean, I am not feeling the spice in our marriage anymore. Sex was boring. Kisses aren't as sweet as before. I hate the way she used to send me flowers when she knows that it was a big no when I'm at work. She knows how important my job is to me. She can't just appear on my taping and shooting just like that. She can't just tell my fans that we are married. At first, she understood the situation. But as the years go by, she couldn't control herself anymore. She's becoming obsessed with me. I hate how too kind she is. This relationship doesn't give me the thrills anymore. I hate whenever she prepares a dinner date to surprise me and I couldn't come home on time and there's this guilt inside me."

The room was so quiet after Jennie's list of bursts.

It took more than ten minutes for everyone to hear Lisa's fight for her breath. She's trying to hold her emotions. Still, her hands are shaking and sweating.

"Anything else?" Ms. Hale asked.

"A lot more, Winona."

"She treats me like I have a disability. She doesn't want me to try adventurous stuff."

"Do you think you are being controlled?" The counselor asked.

"Hmm." Jennie thought of it deeper.

Lisa just put her head down her palms and rubbed her face.

"If this feeling of choking means I am controlled just being inside this relationship, yeah." Jennie couldn't find the right words to express.

"How about your finances?" Winona added.

"That's a huge point. She couldn't find a better job. I know I can feed us and our son for the rest of our lives but I just feel ashamed whenever we're with our relatives and she's being asked how much she earns or what's the most luxurious thing she has ever given to me.

I can even count on my fingers how many times she paid for our bills. She could not even buy a decent clothes for herself. If I won't go shopping, she wouldn't look proper. Look at that pair of white sneakers. God! Lisa, you've been wearing that since the first day we met. Can't you let it go?"

"What's wrong with my shoes? I can still use it. So, why not?" Lisa calmly answered her wife while pointing the tip of her right shoe on the floor.

"I don't see myself living with her anymore, Winona. I feel like we are just forcing this marriage to keep going when the truth is it is really failing. We can't feel each other anymore.

I realized a lot of things. I lost myself when I married her. It's the biggest mistake I have ever done and I really regret it.

I lost the Jennie who was so vibrant and jolly. I lost the powerful Jennie. I lost my smiles. I am no longer happy with Lisa."

Jennie's reaching for the glass of water after her long words.

Lisa remained still on her chair with this calm facade. But deep inside, the three of them know that she is hurting. She is just letting her tears fall from her eyes. She could not even move her fingers.

"Lisa, I don't love you anymore. Let's cut this shit. We already talked about this. I just went here today for my parents who are trying to save our marriage. But Lisa-. Lisa, you know that this is going nowhere. I don't love you anymore."

Lisa was spacing out. Her attention has been called by the counselor many times but she is not responding.

"Lisa." Then Jennie was the once who spoke her name.

She lifted her head. Speechless. Cold. Emotionless.

"Pardon." She released her voice.

"I was asking the same thing. You may share to us the things you don't like about Jennie or your marriage." Ms. Hale's heart is obviously breaking.

"I-I don't—. Uhm. I don't have any—. " Lisa couldn't continue. She is silently crying.

"Lisa, make it fast. I still have to go to work after this!" Jennie. Oh, Jennie!

"I-I don't hate Jennie. I don't regret our marriage. Never. I hate myself. I hate myself very much because if there's one thing I only know,

I have more than a lifetime of reasons why I love her."

And she gently wiped her own tears.