Seasons (Ari AU)

Chapter 33

Holland POV

  After Ari and Felicity picked up Mason I thought I'd easily slip into a coma of sleep for at least the night. My body was spent after a long shift that included multiple births and comforting mothers who didn't have a partner there with them. 

Exhaustion was probably not even the right term for what I felt when they'd dropped him off. But, I'd made the offer and I wasn't going back on it. I answered the door with a smile and complimented Felicity on the deep shade of purple dress, telling her she looked beautiful and earning a "I told you so, mama," from Mason.

  It wasn't a lie. The woman looked phenomenal, hair fixed perfectly with a gorgeous dress covering her perfect body. Ari had once said she was the All American Girl, and he was certainly telling the truth. As much as I'd hoped to find a flaw somewhere, I've yet to manage to do so. 

  Here's a woman who was basically thrust into the mess of my life by her boyfriend, and she willingly came.  Even the fact that she helped with the furniture for the nursery is still mind boggling to me. And it hurts  my heart to admit that she certainly lights up Ari's life by being in it, she and Mason both. 

  But as beautiful as Felicity was standing on my porch, it was the man leaning against his old truck that made my heart skip. Ari wasn't one to dress up outside of the firemen's ball and even then he was peeling off the coat and tie the moment Chief Schneider exited a half our into the event. 

  Tonight though, tonight he was devastatingly handsome without a tux.  Grey slacks paired with a deep blue button up, sleeves rolled tightly against his forearms, giving everyone he sees tonight the grand opportunity to see the veins that are always protruding without force. 

  Save yourself right now, I tell myself, noticing that I've stared for nearly a half second too long. "You clean up good, Levy."

  "Given a good opportunity," he calls back, his voice sounding easy and light, not matching the nervous tick he's trying to mask, eyes down to the ground while his foot shifts about kicking at an imaginary rock. 

  I slip my own mask down a little further and offer to take a photo of the little family. Mason smiling widely as Ari holds him up on his hip, happily sandwiched between his  mother and father. "Adorable!" I announce, keeping my voice even and airy as much as possible.  But when he asks for a loving moment to be captured of his parents I nearly blow my own facade as Felicity sweetly puckers her perfectly painted pink lips, awaiting a kiss from her boyfriend for the photo opp. Seeing him grant it is what makes my heart fall and I realize I'm about to lose myself.

  Snapping the photo quickly, "Oh, that sounds like my phone inside," I announce, passing Felicity back her cell, knowing there is no cell ringing. "I need to go grab it. You two have a great time, Mason is in good hands."  Another quick, and somewhat fake, smile and I'm ushering Mason towards the house while I pick up the pace with a jog.

  "Don't run, Holland!" Ari calls out after me. I glance over my shoulder, seeing him help Felicity up into the truck, but his eyes are trained on me. With a wave I'm ducking into my home and breathing out the smallest sigh of relief.

  "What do you want to do first, Mason?"

  He looks up at me with curiosity clouding his blue eyes. "I thought you said your phone was ringing?"

  I grin at the smart little boy, calling me out. "Oh, they must've hung up. I'll check it in a minute." I help him slip his backpack off. "So, what do you wanna do?"

  He digs into his little back pack, pulling out a couple of cars that I recognize immediately. "Can we watch Cars 2?" he asks, a sweet smile exploding across his face as I nod a yes. It's then that I notice a cute little dimple popping up under his left cheek.  My finger automatically dances across it as I hum for a moment.

  "You found my dimple!" he giggles behind my hand. "Mommy says it only comes out when I'm happiest. I bet it's in the photo with mommy and daddy, too."

  A binding around my heart squeezes as I ruffle his hair, gripping the side table to help me stand back up. "I bet it was, too," I admit, hiding the sadness on my face by turning around to grab the television remote. 

  Exhaustion wasn't in my favor though. I barely slept, up and down through out the night, mind running rampant as I just begged for it to shut off.  At four in the morning I'd actually pleaded for a case of amnesia just so I'd be able to stop the brain noise.

  It didn't work, thus the reason I'm sipping on a very large cup of caffeinated coffee and ignoring the looks from all the other floor nurses while my hand sits on my ever growing bump. 

  "You look like crap. Sure you're not catching something?"

  I peer up at Joy over my cup. She reads my expression, the one that says don't mess with me, and holds her hands up in surrender. "Just grab a nap if you need it, alright?" She sulks off after I've rolled my eyes at her. 

  "Have no fear, your favorite person is here!" Shauna announces to the entirety of the floor as the L & D doors swing open, her badge reeling back against her chest. I see someone walk past her out of the corner of my eye and hear mumbled words between the two. "What's got your panties in a wad?" she asks me, slapping her purse down on the counter in front of me.

  "Didn't sleep."

  "Well, I'm sorry you didn't sleep well-"

  "No," I stop her, "I didn't sleep. At all."

  She curls her nose up in disgust, knowing exactly what that means for my attitude. "Do you need to go spend some time in the nursery?" she asks quietly, leaning over the counter top. 

  My chest deflates with my sigh as I shake my head. "I don't think that will help either," I admit. "Too much happening up here," my finger tapping against my temple. 

  Shauna rounds the corner of the station and plops into the seat next to me. "Wanna talk about it?" I shrug my shoulders, ready to sink my lips back around the cup of coffee I shouldn't be enjoying when she slips it out of my hand. My eyes automatically challenge her. "Spit it out."

  I take a deep breath, my hand pushing against the right side of my stomach in order to get the baby to shift a bit. "I watched Mason last night, you know." She nods, of course she remembers. Her double ended up not being a complete double at all, thus the reason why she's here now. "He gave me the biggest smile and it nearly made me melt."

  "I'm failing to see how that would keep you up at night."

  "His dimple, on the left side. Have you ever noticed it?" Shauna thinks for a moment but eventually shakes her head. "It reminds me of the one Jeremy had."

  "So you were stuck on memories. That's why you couldn't sleep?"

  It's then that I realize she hasn't heard the news. The news that kept me awake all night, tossing, turning, crying. I reach over for my coffee, the corner of my mouth tucked between my teeth as my finger brushes around the lid of the cup.  

  "No," I finally admit with a pained sigh. "It was probably the engagement ring that was thrust in my face when I opened the door to an overly happy Lissy."