Seasons (Ari AU)

Chapter 4

*Trigger warning- miscarriage mentioned*

Flashback ~ 2 years earlier

   My palms are sweaty as I slip my hands into the pockets of my scrubs. No one would be any wiser to know that I've stuffed two paper towels, one in each pocket, in order to give me a chance to dry my  hands off before anyone wants a handshake. 

  'Come on, Holland. It's not like it's your first day ever,' I remind myself on the drive downtown. No, it's definitely not my first day of nursing, but it is my first day at this hospital. 

  I'd moved to Massachusetts from West Virginia after applying for a position in labor and delivery at the most sought after hospital in Boston.  My family couldn't quite understand why I was so desperate for a change of pace, but when you're content with seeing the same parts of your life pass you by day after day, you wouldn't understand.

  I wanted something new, something exciting for my life as I was knocking on my thirties soon enough. And working the ER at a little Podunk hospital wasn't exactly cutting it for me anymore.  There's only so many backaches from misusing equipment and headaches due to allergies one can deal with before they start questioning why they went into their profession to begin with. 

  I'd always wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse. I wanted to coach the mothers, watch the father's eyes fill with tears as they cheered their wife on as she brought new life into the world. To be able to hear those first cries escape a newborn's lungs, to help the little one fight if that's what he or she calls for. 

Ultimately, just being there when the infant takes their first breath. What an incredible feeling that had stuck with me through my nursing rotations.

With the car parked I unclip my badge from the visor and attach it to the v-neck of my scrub top before pulling my hair back into a low ponytail.  I give myself a once over in the rearview mirror, laughing internally because I know today will probably be the only day I wear make up to work.

  I make my way through the main entrance, following the signs that lead me to the labor and delivery floor, bypassing the crazy commotion that's being wheeled in through the sliding glass doors of the emergency room. That is until I hear a particular scream.  I turn on my heel, jogging back to the double doors and push them open wide. 

  "How far along?" I call out, running to the woman who is trying her best to keep calm while the guy I'm assuming is the future father is frantically pushing her closer to the check in station. 

  "Forty-one weeks," she grunts out through gritted teeth while her hands are clamped onto the armrests of the wheelchair. 

  "Hi, what can we help you with?" I hear a calm voice from over my shoulder at the desk.  That's just not gonna work for me as I've silently been counting the seconds between the soon to be mom's contractions and they're less than a minute apart. "Need to get her up to L & D, now!" I yell out, taking the handles from the dad and showing my badge in one swift motion.  The nurse in blue scrubs now takes note of my pink scrubs and the specific markings of my badge and buzzes us through the ER doors to a direct elevator that will get us up to labor and delivery quicker. 

  As soon as the doors slide open I'm greeted by another nurse. "Hey there, mom and dad!" she announces with a grin, keeping herself calm like myself as we both know you don't ever want to alert parents in such a moment as this one although I'm almost positive both of our hearts are running ninety to nothing as she points us down the hall to a room. "Let's get you all hooked up and see if the little one is ready to meet us."

  I haven't had a moment to even look at the woman's badge as she moves ahead of us, shoving the heavy wooden door open for us to all enter. I push the chair directly up to the bed, holding it steady as the mother stands on shaky feet, leaning over immediately onto the bed as another contraction hits hard.