Seasons (Ari AU)

Chapter 10

"Am I living some type of Lifetime movie right now?"

  The words slip right out of my mouth and land upon Shauna and Ari's ears as we sit at my kitchen table. After seeing the positive pregnancy test, Ari had insisted I lay down and let him usher everyone out of the house. I'd been worried about playing the perfect hostess but then he reminded me easily that it wasn't a party but that my husband had died.

  "You owe nothing to these people, Holland," he stated before enlisting his sister to help him with the exits.

  Shauna looks over at her brother who eyes her strangely. "What?" he asks, agitated by her staring.

  "It's a good question," she snaps back. "Who do you think has played this character before? I mean, they usually use the same plot over and over. We could totally pitch it to some studio, I'm sure someone would eat it up and then she and the baby would be set for life.

Ari's face drops, while he shakes his head, mortified at his sister's nonchalance over the revelation that I'm pregnant.

  I reach across the table, taking my friend's hand in my own. "Thank you," I say quietly. "I need to make light of the situation or I'm gonna be nothing but a puddle in the middle of my kitchen."

  "There's nothing light about this," Ari chimes in, a hand running down his face before he's clutching at the thickness of his beard against his jaw. "What are you going to do?"

  My eyes narrow at him, my own confusion growing over the question. "What do you mean, what am I going to do? I'm going to have a baby."

  "You don't have to, ya know."

  "Why the hell wouldn't I?" I yell more than ask.

  He slides his chair back in aggravation, standing in order to begin pacing the room. "He's gone, Holland! Jeremy's gone!" he yells, leaning down on the table in front of me.

  "No shit, Sherlock! Tell me something I don't already know. Tell me another reason as to why I'm coming home to an empty house. Tell me again why I'm going to bed alone each day, never hearing his voice through a single phone call!"

  "Ari! Back off!" his sister warns him. "That is uncalled for."

  He steps back, moving to rest his forearms on the countertop as I begin to hear him quietly sob. "I'm sorry," his voice broken. "This isn't fair to you."

  My bleeding heart takes over for me making my feet move on their own accord. "You're right," I tell him, my hand coming to rest on his back. "This isn't fair to me. It wasn't fair to him. But," my opposite hand touches my stomach for the first time since taking the test, "it's not fair to this baby to grow up without a dad either. But, hey, it's the cards we've been dealt."

  Ari straightens himself to his full height, immediately pulling me against his chest. His arms wrap around me and I feel a warmth that I've not felt since Jeremy had left for this last trip to the farm.

  "I know you're going to play this hand beautifully, Holland." I smile against his chest while tears trickle down my cheeks silently. "Whatever you need, we're here for you."

  It's then that I feel Shauna come up behind me, effectively putting me in the middle of a Levinson sibling sandwich. For good measure they sway me side to side rapidly.

  "Keep doing that and I'm gonna make this white shirt of yours a different color."  Immediately Ari releases me, taking two steps back.

  "This good enough of a distance?" he asks before reaching out to grab a mixing bowl from the dish drain. "I can catch it if need me. Not sure if you're a projectile vomiter or not."

  I giggle through my tears, "No. That was Jeremy after going out drinking with you. I swear, some nights I'd have to just-"

  "Open the shower door and shove him in until it stopped?"

  "How'd you guess?" I ask him.

  "That's what I'd had to do when we lived together," he laughs out. "Then I'd leave him in my room and take over his instead. I'd make him spend the entire following day cleaning my room from top to bottom. I didn't want to be bringing back a lady friend to the smell of vomit and stale beer."

  I go back to my seat at the table, the pregnancy test still staring me down. "You two probably got into a lot of trouble, didn't you?"

Ari's face tells me all I need without a single word. "In our defense," he starts, coming back to his own seat, still holding the bowl, "we were both single and sowing our oats."

  "I always felt that was such a dumb saying," Shauna pipes in. "Like everyone should go out and make dumb decisions, as though it'll run its course and you won't make stupid choices later in life."

  I watch the two of them go on and on over the debate, my fingers lightly touching the test.  "He'd have been happy, right?" I ask, stunning the two into dropping their discussion. They stare back at me, but don't speak right away. "Jeremy. He'd be excited for this, right?"

  "Of course he would be. I think this was all a part of what he wanted for the two of you."

  "But, so soon?" I ask Ari, glancing over to Shauna as well.

  "I think if you weren't doing anything to prevent it, and you probably weren't since ya know, married and all that," he starts stuttering, making both his sister and I chuckle. "I think he'd be thrilled no matter when it was going to happen."

  "Can I do this though?" I ask now, my confidence earlier diminishing rapidly. "Alone. Can I do this alone?"

  "Who ever said you'd be alone?" Shauna asks, her hand rubbing circles against my back when I feel Ari reach out to hold my hand. "Jeremy may be gone, but you still have a family."

*Unedited and much shorter than normal.